The Final Clean

Each time our family leaves the house for more than a night, I like to spend the day getting the entire house neat and clean. I suppose I fear that the knowledge of a toilet in need of scrubbing back home will prevent me from entering true relaxation mode on our trip. Plus, a clean home is such a pleasant thing to come back home to.

So today, I press on. One more bathroom to clean. Groceries to buy, and bags to pack tonight. Tomorrow, we're off to a secluded cabin by the creek to enjoy each other and God's creation without the disruptions of our regular lives. I am looking forward to it.

Yesterday I had the privilege of watching my sweet five-year-old in her dance class. Normally, the teacher keeps them to herself to help them focus, but she let them have an 'audience' yesterday. My little girl inherited her Mommy's rhythm which means she'll have to work extra hard to be average at this sort of thing. She's not working extra hard, yet. Most of the time she's just a little behind on the moves, or not doing them quite right. Despite this, I adored watching her simply because she's my baby.

As I sat there, a little moved over the sweetness of this class of little girls, I couldn't help but wonder if this is how God often views us. Perhaps he is watching with the amused adoration of a loving parent as we fumble around trying to make the garden grow or get the laundry clean.

Springtime thoughts

Okay, so maybe this is turning into a once a quarter blog or something. Life in our home has been quite busy this year, and I haven't found much time to complete the discipline of catching, ironing and posting my thoughts much. They are pretty much a swirling mass of chaos. But, I'll try to catch one for ya right now.

For those of us who are into education, especially homeschooling, Spring is the time of year when we are looking forward to next Fall trying to figure out what the heck we'll do. I think that we've decided.

For my oldest (who just turned 8), we'll be enrolling her in that wonderful, local Classical and Christian school. I have agonized over which grade to put her in and have still not made a final decision. But, as for now, she'll be going to second grade. I haven't kept her on an advanced schedule at home, and they are very advanced at this particular school. She isn't sure that she wants to go. I am not sure that I want to let her go. Yet, my husband has led, and there is an overwhelming peace about the whole decision.

With my firstborn in school, I will have the luxury of focusing on a sweet Kinder year of homeschooling my five year old. I haven't decided exactly what we'll do yet. But, it will be very Charlotte Mason inspired while keeping up with the academic rigor of our local C&C school just in case we decide to put her in at some point.

All of these decisions lead my mind to wonder if I am doing what is best. I am far too much of an idealist and I have trouble accepting the good that exists over the perfect that is pretty much only in my head. Somehow, my vision of homeschooling is so far ahead of my reality that it's just pathetic. Call me a dreamer.

Happy Spring, I'll try to come around more often.

How to take a break from the Chaos (aka noise and lots of it)

Dear friends, it is been far too long since I've written anything. I suppose many of you have ceased to even check this blog. That's okay. Our December was quite busy, as I imagine yours was as well. The days have been long; full of joy and frustration, often simultaneously. But, I suppose that's the way with little ones. I have been at a crossroads in regards to training my children in how to conduct themselves in the presence of adult company.

My natural tendency is to flee from the old "children should be seen and not heard." But, sometimes (actually, most of the time), that leaves no opportunity for adult conversation. I want for my little ones to feel like they are loved and included in the conversation, but they often attempt to dominate it. Where is the balance? When they are excited to see their soon-to-be new aunt, should not I allow them to talk to her? However, when shall I ever have the chance to converse with her?

I believe I have found the answer to these questions in the oddest of places. I made my discovery at Chic Fillet. My husband and I were sitting in the booth nearest the plexiglass wall of the play area observing our three oldest children. They seemed so adorable and precious through that sound proof wall. And, in that booth we were able to enjoy the happy coos of our newborn while carrying on an uninterrupted conversation.

Wow, sometimes I just don't even realize how much the noise is getting to me until I take a break from it. Silence is golden. And plexiglass is good.

Happy New Year, everyone.

Sharing the Burden

Yesterday, I didn't want to get up in the morning. I could already hear the big kids stirring, the baby was waking up and would need to be nursed and all I wanted to do was sleep. Dizzily, I sat up and began my day. Nursing the babe, feeding the kids, doing the dishes, laundry, schoolwork; the usual. In the midst of the frustration of a constantly crying baby and a very curious toddler I realized that I just couldn't handle it anymore. I cried out to the Lord to help me!

And, he heard me.

Somehow, the laundry got loaded and I was able to sit down and hold my baby for a while.

As I sat, I watched. The five-year-old and the boy were happily playing legos together. The seven-year-old was dutifully completing her phonics work. And the sweet baby had fallen asleep in my lap.

Tears filled my eyes as I realized that this is what he wants for me. Why do I keep trying to bear this burden by myself? He is with me always, and ready to help. All I have to do is ask.

It is so sweet to be His.

Here We Go

It's that time again. That time when I complain of being too busy and not getting to do things my way. That time when I threaten to take my little family and run away to celebrate things our way. Basically, it's that time again when I act like a total sinner and completely forget the grace shown to me which is the very reason for these celebrations.

For some reason, I am most selfish during the holiday season. Yes, I shrug it off as trying to "protect my children and their holiday memories." But, it's really just selfishness. I think that I know the best way to do things and I don't really want to oblige anyone else. This is a wonderful time for me to practice being gracious, and letting the Lord use me to be a peacemaker. Yet, in the past, I have continually opted for stubbornness and caddy, "can you believe that he..." whispered to my husband.

And so, I am praying for an extra measure of grace. And, I am committing myself to steep this time in scripture that his sweet words might overflow out of my mouth. May this Thanksgiving and Christmas be special, not because of getting to do things my way, but because I am able to reflect the one who is the giver of all good things.

Here's wishing you a joyous Thanksgiving, as you reflect upon God's sovereign grace shown to us through the blessings of living in the Land of the Free.

Choices

When you happen to live in the same city as a wonderful Classical and Christian school, it can be difficult to explain your choice to homeschool.

When two of your dear family members are founding members of that excellent school, it gets even more tricky to justify your homeschooling decision.

When you spent a year teaching at that school, and growing to love many of it's methods, things can get really complicated.

When your grandparents offer to foot the bill for your firstborn to attend that school and you graciously refuse it, you can begin to wonder whether you are slowly going insane.

When a friend, whose daughter is attending second grade at that school, tells you about the paragraph she recently wrote in class; you might start worrying that your child is not keeping up.

And so, I have to go back to the beginning. I have to remember why I am doing this. Ultimately, it is because the Lord has clearly called us to be a homeschooling family. I can only endure the "concern" from others when I focus upon him. My children may not be super advanced in their studies. But, they are learning so much. I hope that someday, others will be able to see the fruit of our choice. In the meantime, I seek my encouragement from the Lord and from those of you who are or have been in my shoes. I am so thankful for this tool to daily connect me with encouragement from other homeschooling families.

As an aside, I found this Ambleside Language Arts scope and sequence very reassuring that we are doing just fine.