Simple Glory

Raising the Baby

2012-01-19T19:30:00.000-08:00

I've heard from many that the baby of the family is always the baby. Looking at my fourth and final child who is now four, I am beginning to understand what is meant by that. My expectations for her are lower than they were for my other four year olds. The child still doesn't dress herself, or buckle her seat belt or squeeze her own toothpaste. She throws a fit almost everytime she is denied her wish. (she throws a lot of fits - we don't always give in) They say the first step to recovery is admitting the problem. So, I admit it, we baby our baby and we need to help her grow up. Not to mention, her attitude is becoming increasingly unpleasant. For a child with a naturally sweet and caring disposition, it is obvious that our 'babying' her is not bringing out the best in her as a person.

So, yesterday during our school time, she was becoming increasingly unpleasant. "No, you can't play with my iphone, you need to listen to the story. No, you may not stand over there, you need to have a seat with the family." Etc, etc... After the third or fourth meltdown, I send her to her room to have some time to calm down and return to being kind. Then, the thuds begin. The thud, thud, thud of little feet kicking the wall in frustration. At this point, I am feeling nothing but frustration and anger in my heart. I am not seeing this child as a person who needs me to help her grow up, I am seeing her as an annoying distraction to my day.

Whoa - hold on, I know better than that. Quickly, I ask the Lord for help to bring out the best in my little girl. And, as quickly as that, He guides me.

I walk into the room and see a little girl banging on the wall, with a face full of anger and I say sweetly, "Can we talk now?" As I sit next to her on her bed, she perks up and leans her little head on my chest, already sensing that I have come as an ally. I asked her, "How do you feel when someone tells you No?" She thought about it for a moment and replied that it made her mad. "You wanna know something, sometimes I feel mad when someone tells me no, too. (little eyes are looking at me now) But, part of growing up is learning how to behave the right way even when someone tells us no. How do you think you should behave when someone tells you know? (shrugs little shoulders) Should you say, "aaaahhh, but I WANT it?" (bursts into giggles) Was that the right way to respond? Okay, okay, let me try again..." We role play for awhile, taking turns to be the one who asks. Silliness ensues, but the lesson is learned.

She is learning how to handle disappointment. But, I am learning, too. I am learning that godly parenting involves empathy and seeing my child as a person. It involves prayer, thoughtfulness, and time. I am so thankful for the one who shares my burdens and guides me daily.

Beginning Anew

2011-12-31T08:06:00.000-08:00

A couple of nights ago, I was lying in bed, talking to God silently when it dawned on me. I hadn't done this in quite awhile. Christmas was over and gone, and while I'd gotten in a few advent readings with the kids, I hadn't done much else to focus myself upon the King of Kings humbling himself to earth. Why?

Every year, I sort of dread the hustle and bustle of the Christmas season. I enjoy choosing thoughtful gifts for friends and families, but the stress of doing it all at once gets to me. Then there are the numerous concerts and school performances to prepare for and attend, classroom parties, teacher gifts... I find myself wanting to do it all well, but knowing that I'm not the type of person who can manage too much of this busyness. I don't want to be a complainer. I want to be the woman who enjoys His goodness while keeping my focus on him. But, I'm weak and easily distracted. Lists of gifts yet to buy and errands yet to run occupy my heart and mind. And, like that, I make this world my home and remove heaven from my view.

What I would like to know is HOW do I celebrate joyfully with my eyes on Him? The answer is beginning to materialize. I think it has to begin anew each morning. Each day will have it's stresses and busyness. But if I can begin each morning dedicating that day's lists and activities to Him, seeking His face and wisdom - then maybe it will be out of the fullness He provides that I will be able to live joyfully in the chaos.

The only real difference between my December days and my October ones was that October days began with my Father. Last Summer, I began working on the habit of rising early for exercise and prayer. I was trucking merrily along until the cold, dark mornings settled in. And, I traded those precious minutes of restoration for more time on my pillow.

And so, at the dawn of a New Year, I begin anew. Once again, seeking to form the most life-giving habit that I can. The alarm on my phone is set for seven; that's early enough for tomorrow.

The steadfast love of the LORD never ceases; his mercies never come to an end; they are new every morning; great is your faithfulness."

Lamentations 3:22-23

Comforting our Children

2011-12-01T19:27:00.000-08:00

My second child is the one who I sympathize with most. She's also my greatest challenge. She's a deep thinker; quick - witted, and exceedingly sensitive. She's a fiercely loyal friend yet a strong introvert.

There are days when she is such a joy with her funny remarks and her thought-provoking questions. But, this afternoon was not one of those. She seemed content enough when I picked her up from school. And after we left the library, she eagerly requested to carry out her book from the stack. But, when we arrived at home, I had a different daughter.

She yelled at her little sister for coming into the room. She called names. She refused to listen to calm reason. I had to leave the room in frustration so that I could cool off. Goodness. What to do? - The only thing a desperate mother can do. I asked my husband for back-up and I prayed for wisdom. After a dinner strewn with unkind words and plenty of food left on the plate, she left in a huff - back to her room. And then, it dawned on me.

I recalled the words I had read this morning and thought about how I could bring her comfort. I peeked my head into her room and asked, "would you like to take a bath in my tub with the good-smelling bath salts?" INSTANTLY, she became a different child. Back to her sweet, kind self - she climbed into the tub. I set out her pajamas, robe and slippers; brought her book into the bathroom and told her that she could stay there and read as long as she liked. As I took her precious face into my hands I remarked, "Dear one, did you need a night alone?" "Yes." "I understand, I need nights alone, too. Do you think that next time you feel like this, you could calmly let me know that you need some time alone?"

And that was that. Good-golly, I hope that I can remember the next time this girl is acting like a crazy person, that she's a young lady who needs her space now and then - just like me. A dear friend of mine once said, "It doesn't take much to bring us back around, a little chocolate, a glass of wine, a warm bath and we feel like a new woman."

Listening

2011-11-26T07:39:00.000-08:00

As a mother, it has been important to me from the beginning to expose my children to the best in books and music. From the time that they are very small, I read wonderful stories to them. And, there is almost always good music from a wide variety of genres playing in our home. I have done this with the hope that a taste for beauty and excellence would be cultivated in them, and that they would also be inspired to pursue greatness as well.

Well, here I am with an official ‘tween’ and one soon-to-be amongst my brood. Even though we don’t have TV channels, they have seen enough of the Disney Channel to become pretty fond of a particular young, pop star. My gut instinct is to shut it off, talk to them about why it’s not great music and quick – turn on some Tchaikovsky!

However, I’ve been convicted lately that maybe that’s not the best route. These wise words have given me some new eyes to see and ears to hear. How can I possibly expect them to have any interest in what I care about if I refuse to even listen to something that they truly enjoy?

And, what if I viewed the things that they share with me as a pathway to their hearts? A chance to understand more about whom they are as persons? An opportunity to simply love them for who they are. What if I saw these years of transitioning from childhood to adulthood as a time for me to listen, care and be available? Do you think that maybe, they’ll be more likely to listen, care and be available for me, too?

Of course, I will continue to expose them to beautiful words and sounds. And, of course, there will be times when the line will have to be drawn when something is clearly dishonoring to the Lord. Hopefully, by knowing how much I care, those times of drawing the line will be easier for these sweet young ladies to handle. Lord willing, we will all be able to love and admire each other for the person God created us to be. And, within that love and admiration, hearts and minds will flourish. – That is the sincere desire of my heart.

Restoration

2011-11-17T08:00:00.000-08:00

It was an afternoon like many. Schoolwork completed, hours before dinner, our yard is boring, and irritable children were flopping and sighing on the couch. Honestly, I felt the same way. I could've curled up and spent a couple of hours staring at a screen. As I surveyed the scene before me, it was obvious that joy had left the building. We were gasping for air, withering under the strain of shallow breathing. But, what to do? And then, I felt the subtle prompting; the prompting of that still, small voice whispering, "life is beautiful, but this is not - lead them to a path more satisfying."

Bravely, I pull myself together and suggest putting on shoes, getting in the car and heading out to the nature park. The smaller two eagerly jump up; the older two groan and squish the couch cushions even more, "Oh Mom, do we have to?"

Is this how it's supposed to go? Must I fight them along with my own fight for joy? I already know the answer; and soon, we're all in the car.

We arrive, and begin on our path. Who can help but feel a little more alive under the direct influence of Divine wind and sun? Down by the Cypress-lined creek, I park myself at a rustic, little table to read, paint and observe. My firstborn sits by me to draw. The sweet baby spends most of her time picking flowers. And the middle two are delighting in the adventure of balancing across logs to make it to the "islands" in the creek. Every now and then, they slip and splash a bit. But, that's okay, because wet shoes and clothes will dry far more quickly than these memories will fade.

Our joy has been restored.

"The LORD is my shepherd, I lack nothing. ² He makes me lie down in green pastures, he leads me beside quiet waters, ³ he restores my soul."

Two sweet hours sail by and it's time to return home. Reluctant, but satisfied, we load into the car. As I buckle the little one, I lean over into the backseat and look at my big girls. "Tell me the truth, did that feel better than sitting around on the couch?" A moment of quiet realization comes over them, and they both agree - It was much better.

Fighting for your Right...maybe not

2011-11-03T16:42:00.001-07:00

My husband, the artist, is often busy on weekends. This means Saturday nights at Chic Fil A with the kiddos and maybe a movie for me after they're in bed. A few weekends ago, I was hoping to sneak in a quick trip to the grocery store before he had to leave for the day - by. my. self.
In the driveway, he was loading up - preparing to leave and earn our bread. I begged 30 minutes. He consented. During the course of this (2 minutes tops) conversation, all of my children had loaded and buckled themselves into the car. Now, why they won't load up that quickly when I want them to, I'll never understand. Nevertheless, here I stand. Fuming. I don't want to take them with me - it'll take hours! I just want to go by myself.
Being the martyr that I am, I climb in and turn the ignition, four kids in tow. As we drive, I state my demands: "No running off. No asking for ANYTHING. Got it?" We arrive, unload and begin our journey to the front door. As we pass through the outdoor plant section, my littlest one comments on how pretty the flowers are. Slowly I feel it. The drip, drip melting of an icy heart. My icy heart. The recently read words of Edith Schaeffer in describing a disgruntled wife come to mind:

"What a fantastic amount of wasted time! What possible results could it all bring ? What is of basic importance? What kind of lessons in human relationships are being given to three children in the midst of this? Are they being taught to yell for their "rights," no matter what is destroyed during the yelling?"

and I'm undone. Right there, at the entrance to the grocery store, I breathe deeply and decide to relinquish "my rights." Because they're not really mine anyway.

With pleasant face and voice restored, we breeze through the store. Before I know it, we're all enjoying ourselves at the library. I am so thankful for Godly women who've gone before me; who remind me the path toward righteousness has nothing to do with me or my rights.

A Tapestry

2011-11-03T15:21:00.001-07:00

"Soon she would be about with them again, light-footed as of yore, loving them, teaching them, comforting them. They would be coming to her with their little joys and sorrows, their budding hopes, their new fears, their little problems that seemed so big to them and their little heart-breaks that seemed so bitter. She would hold all the threads of the Ingleside life in her hands again to weave into a tapestry of beauty."

Anne of Ingleside by Lucy Maude Montgomery

I have loved reading the "Anne" books with my two big girls and am often struck by the sweet truths expressed in them. Just this afternoon, it dawned on me that I am twelve years down with fourteen to go in this journey of parenthood (at least the part where they are small and live at home). We're nearly halfway through weaving this tapestry of life. What a joy it is to have the job of weaver. Pulling in some singing here, piano lessons there, read alouds, spontaneous dance parties, and adventures at the nature preserve. Hopefully, if we stand back and squint a little, those will outshine all of the slugs, dirt and shouting in the end.

Satisfaction

2011-10-25T07:14:00.000-07:00

It took me awhile to understand why certain "educational" activities made me cringe a little. Putting together poster displays for a report, making anything out of self-hardening clay, preparing for a classroom's Thanksgiving feast (complete with decorations and a craft activity); all of these things make my stomach turn a little. They always have, here's the proof from years ago! And, after a year with Ambleside, I know why.

At Ambleside, I was taught the difference between activities which are fun and those that are deeply satisfying. Fun activities leave you with a temporary 'high' and a quick crash, basically sugar for the brain. While deeply satisfying activities give you a true sense of meaningful satisfaction. I'm often too strong of an intuitive to enjoy the fun, because I can see the crash coming. Hence, my avoidance of theme parks. I much prefer a day in the country next to a pretty stream. One leaves me exhausted at the end of the day and the other leaves me tired, but refreshed.

This fun vs. deeply satisfying way of classifying things carries over into all aspects of education. You may be wondering, really - is it wrong to have fun?? Of course not. We all need a little fun in our lives. But, I hope that my children will have a taste cultivated for the deeply satisfying and learn to choose it over the fun when given the option.

So what does this look like in an educational setting?

I feel like so many well-intentioned parents and educators run around getting the life sucked out of them thinking that's what it takes to create something memorable for the children. They have no idea how life-giving it can be to keep things simple, meaningful and worthwhile.

And so, before planning, we have to ask ourselves, "How will the children grow through this activity?" "What will happen if we don't do this? - Will they still learn as much?" "What will the (emotional, financial, energy) cost be?" Ultimately, will it leave parents, educators and students feeling deeply satisfied? Or will it result in a quick crash afterwards?

What are your thoughts? Does too much fun leave you feeling burned out? What do you find deeply satisfying?

Winding Down

2011-05-28T08:45:00.000-07:00

Okay, so I didn't chronicle my year here. The days were long, tiring and beautiful. I think it may be in my reflection period that I am able to process and write more. The writing just didn't come in the midst of it all. I am approaching my last week at Ambleside, and I think that I have figured out the main reason why God put me here this year.

If I hold above all else only one thing, it would be this:
Logically, I know many things about how to live life well. But, until those lessons cross over from my left brained, logical side into my right brained, heartfelt side, I will never live well. My dreams will remain dreams until my heart has been trained.

So, how do I train the heart? The heart is trained through a sense of wonder and awe at the Glory of God all around. And cultivating this sense of wonder happens in many ways. The primary ways that I've found are through music (mainly hymns and beautiful instrumental music), stories that inspire noble ideas (yes, this includes the Bible), and nature study. These avenues train our hearts to understand what is good, true and beautiful. When the life gets sucked out of your home, SING. When you are struggling to teach a child noble behavior, READ an inspirational story. When you are feeling anxious and overwhelmed with the noise and chaos, go OUTSIDE, stare at a plant, and marvel at the perfection of His creation. Keep a nature journal, plant a garden, read beautiful stories and sing through it all.

I write these lessons today, not because I have mastered any of them, but to document them for my own weak self. These are the keys to the life He desires for my home. And, a heart that has been trained to seek His glory will be a heart more sensitive to his leading - more compassionate, more hospitable, more generous, more Christlike...

This year has been a gift to me. The hope of Charlotte Mason has found a footing in my heart, because I care more, the room that I find myself in is wide, and my life feels full, indeed.

All glory be to the Father.

"The question is not, -- how much does the youth know? when he has finished his education -- but how much does he care? and about how many orders of things does he care? In fact, how large is the room in which he finds his feet set? and, therefore, how full is the life he has before him?" - Charlotte Mason

motivation of the heart

2010-11-10T18:39:00.000-08:00

"Do not let the endless succession of small things crowd great ideals out of sight and out of mind." - Charlotte Mason

He quickly slips beside me just in time for the second verse of "For the Beauty." In his loud, little boy whisper, he says, "I need to tell my Mom something." Soon, I find him in the hall crying to her. Tears of frustration stream down freckled cheeks and I grab his hand, pleading him to join us. He squeezes hard. She kisses him and tries to go. Kisses again, and heads out the door - heart heavy but confident.
Another kind peer reads Psalm 9 to their hungry hearts and I take him. We sit and I listen. Hopes and disappointment come pouring forth through blurry little eyes. I listen and love, encourage and pray. This is the Father's love, pouring forth through my weak soul. His tender heart is comforted and we return with a fresh start to anxious faces eager to learn.
After school, she find me. With heartfelt embrace, she utters, "You have no idea how much this means to me. Someday, when he gets married, I want for you to be there."
My heart soars at the thought. A little boy will one day be a man. The sacred privilege sobers and encourages.

Can love help you learn your history lesson?

2010-11-06T18:48:00.000-07:00

One of the glorious things about homeschooling is that you are with family. In a healthy home, everyone feels loved and wanted. But, what about in a classroom? What if Sarah said that you couldn't play with her at recess and your Mom forgot to pack you a snack. You're hungry and your heart hurts.

How can the sad, anxious child learn her lesson amidst these distractions of the mind? Well, her teacher has to love her like a mother would, like the Father does. Notice the downcast face. Call Sarah over to restore the friendship. Find a peanut butter sandwich in the kitchen to fill a hungry tummy. Hug. Pray. Whisper, "I love you."

Feeling wanted and included, the child can now relax and soak in her lessons.

I am not a naturally sympathetic or observant person. This job, this environment, these inspiring people are helping me to rise above my nature - to grow up in Christ. With his strength, I can grow to know and to love each person He puts in my path. And, with that love, we are now able to grow.

Week One - The Personhood of the Child

2010-11-06T16:12:00.001-07:00

I am a teacher at an Ambleside school. The more that I am immersed in the philosophy and environment, the more I fall in love. Charlotte Mason taught that children are born persons. They are not on their way to becoming a person - they already are. With that in mind, they are to be respected as we seek to nourish their minds and help them to grow. Here is a reflection that I wrote at the end of my first week of teaching:

There is a student in my class who would not likely be tolerated in other private schools because of his special needs. His differences from other children are quickly obvious, while his similarities are somewhat hidden. I must admit, I was nervous about having him in my class - I wondered if I would be able to help him thrive.

After a week in class together, it is apparent to me that it is not about me. This child thrives because of who Ambleside is, because of who is mother is and because of whom he is. At Ambleside, he has been loved, included, nurtured and challenged.

Our first few days together, this child was hesitant to answer questions or narrate. But, by Friday, he had proven himself quite proficient in a variety of subjects. As I sat with my students and asked him to narrate the text from the day before, my heart was moved by his beautiful and thorough narration. In my mind rang Charlotte Mason’s words “Every person exceeds our power of measurement.”

It is moments like this, where the philosophy shows its beauty in such glory that I humbly give thanks to our Lord. I thank him for those who have gone before me and dedicated themselves to a greater understanding of Charlotte Mason’s teaching and how it ought to be applied. I thank him for allowing me the privilege to teach in a place where children are strengthened, informed, respected and loved; so therefore, they grow.

Blink

2010-10-29T20:42:00.000-07:00

I walk past the glassed-in childcare room at the Y and choke back tears as I exit alone. Only last year, my little two would come here with me daily - and we would leave together with the day ahead of us. Right now, it is evening. They are asleep in their beds, and I am alone - sneaking away for a quick rush of good endorphins to soothe my anxious heart.

All I did was blink.
And those days are gone. Memories.

The Lord has called me to a new stage, one he has been equipping me for - one that he is equipping me through. I am a working mother.

I didn't really want this. But, He wanted it for me. I only applied for a part time job - maybe a teacher's aide. But, he knew that I needed to be immersed. He knew how I needed to grow. He knew which child needed me most right now.

And so, here I am. Teacher to ten beautiful second graders (one of whom is my own beloved child) in the most incredible school that I could ever hope for. My children are thriving, my husband is growing stronger, and I am growing up in Him.

He didn't design this life to be simple, as in easy. But, he did make it simple to follow him - one day at a time, one step at a time, one breath at a time - ever listening for that still, small voice that whispers, "I am with you."

A fresh start

2010-10-29T20:29:00.000-07:00

In reading through old posts, I realize what a treasure this little space has been for my heart. Memories captured, thoughts being forced to come clear, dear women offering me encouragement - each of these things brought me such joy. Yet, I just quit. Two and a half years of life have brought many beautiful changes.
I want to come back.
I want to take time to breathe him in and exhale here.
Join me, if you will.

The Final Clean

2008-04-30T13:07:00.000-07:00

Each time our family leaves the house for more than a night, I like to spend the day getting the entire house neat and clean. I suppose I fear that the knowledge of a toilet in need of scrubbing back home will prevent me from entering true relaxation mode on our trip. Plus, a clean home is such a pleasant thing to come back home to.

So today, I press on. One more bathroom to clean. Groceries to buy, and bags to pack tonight. Tomorrow, we're off to a secluded cabin by the creek to enjoy each other and God's creation without the disruptions of our regular lives. I am looking forward to it.

2008-04-08T08:36:00.001-07:00

Yesterday I had the privilege of watching my sweet five-year-old in her dance class. Normally, the teacher keeps them to herself to help them focus, but she let them have an 'audience' yesterday. My little girl inherited her Mommy's rhythm which means she'll have to work extra hard to be average at this sort of thing. She's not working extra hard, yet. Most of the time she's just a little behind on the moves, or not doing them quite right. Despite this, I adored watching her simply because she's my baby.

As I sat there, a little moved over the sweetness of this class of little girls, I couldn't help but wonder if this is how God often views us. Perhaps he is watching with the amused adoration of a loving parent as we fumble around trying to make the garden grow or get the laundry clean.

Springtime thoughts

2008-04-02T13:42:00.000-07:00

Okay, so maybe this is turning into a once a quarter blog or something. Life in our home has been quite busy this year, and I haven't found much time to complete the discipline of catching, ironing and posting my thoughts much. They are pretty much a swirling mass of chaos. But, I'll try to catch one for ya right now.

For those of us who are into education, especially homeschooling, Spring is the time of year when we are looking forward to next Fall trying to figure out what the heck we'll do. I think that we've decided.

For my oldest (who just turned 8), we'll be enrolling her in that wonderful, local Classical and Christian school. I have agonized over which grade to put her in and have still not made a final decision. But, as for now, she'll be going to second grade. I haven't kept her on an advanced schedule at home, and they are very advanced at this particular school. She isn't sure that she wants to go. I am not sure that I want to let her go. Yet, my husband has led, and there is an overwhelming peace about the whole decision.

With my firstborn in school, I will have the luxury of focusing on a sweet Kinder year of homeschooling my five year old. I haven't decided exactly what we'll do yet. But, it will be very Charlotte Mason inspired while keeping up with the academic rigor of our local C&C school just in case we decide to put her in at some point.

All of these decisions lead my mind to wonder if I am doing what is best. I am far too much of an idealist and I have trouble accepting the good that exists over the perfect that is pretty much only in my head. Somehow, my vision of homeschooling is so far ahead of my reality that it's just pathetic. Call me a dreamer.

Happy Spring, I'll try to come around more often.

How to take a break from the Chaos (aka noise and lots of it)

2008-01-08T11:57:00.000-08:00

Dear friends, it is been far too long since I've written anything. I suppose many of you have ceased to even check this blog. That's okay. Our December was quite busy, as I imagine yours was as well. The days have been long; full of joy and frustration, often simultaneously. But, I suppose that's the way with little ones. I have been at a crossroads in regards to training my children in how to conduct themselves in the presence of adult company.

My natural tendency is to flee from the old "children should be seen and not heard." But, sometimes (actually, most of the time), that leaves no opportunity for adult conversation. I want for my little ones to feel like they are loved and included in the conversation, but they often attempt to dominate it. Where is the balance? When they are excited to see their soon-to-be new aunt, should not I allow them to talk to her? However, when shall I ever have the chance to converse with her?

I believe I have found the answer to these questions in the oddest of places. I made my discovery at Chic Fillet. My husband and I were sitting in the booth nearest the plexiglass wall of the play area observing our three oldest children. They seemed so adorable and precious through that sound proof wall. And, in that booth we were able to enjoy the happy coos of our newborn while carrying on an uninterrupted conversation.

Wow, sometimes I just don't even realize how much the noise is getting to me until I take a break from it. Silence is golden. And plexiglass is good.

Happy New Year, everyone.

Sharing the Burden

2007-11-29T09:50:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I didn't want to get up in the morning. I could already hear the big kids stirring, the baby was waking up and would need to be nursed and all I wanted to do was sleep. Dizzily, I sat up and began my day. Nursing the babe, feeding the kids, doing the dishes, laundry, schoolwork; the usual. In the midst of the frustration of a constantly crying baby and a very curious toddler I realized that I just couldn't handle it anymore. I cried out to the Lord to help me!

And, he heard me.

Somehow, the laundry got loaded and I was able to sit down and hold my baby for a while.

As I sat, I watched. The five-year-old and the boy were happily playing legos together. The seven-year-old was dutifully completing her phonics work. And the sweet baby had fallen asleep in my lap.

Tears filled my eyes as I realized that this is what he wants for me. Why do I keep trying to bear this burden by myself? He is with me always, and ready to help. All I have to do is ask.

It is so sweet to be His.

Here We Go

2007-11-20T12:47:00.000-08:00

It's that time again. That time when I complain of being too busy and not getting to do things my way. That time when I threaten to take my little family and run away to celebrate things our way. Basically, it's that time again when I act like a total sinner and completely forget the grace shown to me which is the very reason for these celebrations.

For some reason, I am most selfish during the holiday season. Yes, I shrug it off as trying to "protect my children and their holiday memories." But, it's really just selfishness. I think that I know the best way to do things and I don't really want to oblige anyone else. This is a wonderful time for me to practice being gracious, and letting the Lord use me to be a peacemaker. Yet, in the past, I have continually opted for stubbornness and caddy, "can you believe that he..." whispered to my husband.

And so, I am praying for an extra measure of grace. And, I am committing myself to steep this time in scripture that his sweet words might overflow out of my mouth. May this Thanksgiving and Christmas be special, not because of getting to do things my way, but because I am able to reflect the one who is the giver of all good things.

Here's wishing you a joyous Thanksgiving, as you reflect upon God's sovereign grace shown to us through the blessings of living in the Land of the Free.

Choices

2007-11-17T08:37:00.000-08:00

When you happen to live in the same city as a wonderful Classical and Christian school, it can be difficult to explain your choice to homeschool.

When two of your dear family members are founding members of that excellent school, it gets even more tricky to justify your homeschooling decision.

When you spent a year teaching at that school, and growing to love many of it's methods, things can get really complicated.

When your grandparents offer to foot the bill for your firstborn to attend that school and you graciously refuse it, you can begin to wonder whether you are slowly going insane.

When a friend, whose daughter is attending second grade at that school, tells you about the paragraph she recently wrote in class; you might start worrying that your child is not keeping up.

And so, I have to go back to the beginning. I have to remember why I am doing this. Ultimately, it is because the Lord has clearly called us to be a homeschooling family. I can only endure the "concern" from others when I focus upon him. My children may not be super advanced in their studies. But, they are learning so much. I hope that someday, others will be able to see the fruit of our choice. In the meantime, I seek my encouragement from the Lord and from those of you who are or have been in my shoes. I am so thankful for this tool to daily connect me with encouragement from other homeschooling families.

As an aside, I found this Ambleside Language Arts scope and sequence very reassuring that we are doing just fine.

Prying My Grubby Little Fingers

2007-11-13T11:58:00.001-08:00

Eight years ago, I became a wife at the young age of nineteen. I was still pretty wound up and focused on myself. I have always been pretty forward-thinking, a dreamer, head-in-the-clouds, bossy, annoying, well I guess that should do. Anyhow, I had my life planned out. And, being a low income wife and homeschooling mother of four children really wasn't in the plans. After all, I was going to college, that guaranteed riches and success - right? Over the years, the Lord has gently pried my hands off of the junk that I call precious. He has been faithful to bless me despite my foolishness, yet I remain a fool.

He has recently had to pry again.

My dear husband had fatherhood thrust upon him quite young, and before he really had time to consider a career. And, as you know, once fatherhood began, it continued quite rapidly. Fast-forward eight years later, he is a father to four dear ones and is still faithfully remaining with the same job he began nearly eight years ago. I, being the bossy, dreamy, annoying one have recently seen fit to find him a career that suits him better. "Maybe you'd like this, or that dear. Shall I research it for you? Shall I schedule an interview or an appointment for you?" And on, and on I go. Where does it all end? Frustration. Frustration, because it's my idea and not his.

And so, with His gentle prying, I am doing my best to release my grip on what I think is best. Especially with the upcoming Holiday, it is fitting that I focus on what I can be thankful for. I have a husband who loves the Lord, me and our children. He is faithful to provide for us. And, he's pretty cute and can always make me laugh. As I let go of selfish ambitions, and thank the Lord for his goodness; I can again focus on my job, and let my husband focus on his... praying all the way through.

First Things First

2007-11-05T18:29:00.001-08:00

It seems simple enough. You have to put on your socks before you put on your shoes (unless you're wearing flip-flops), you should put the toothpaste on the toothbrush before you brush your teeth. But, what do you do when the baby is starving, you've run out of counter space for dirty dishes, and the seven-year-old needs help with her math work? Well, I suppose you could move math to the kitchen, nurse the baby while standing and doing the dishes with one hand. But, it would be right at that moment that the toddler walks in with a bloody nose dripping everywhere. Things just aren't so cut and dry for a Mama with many little ones. The needs are constant, and often urgent.

It is in these moments that I will cry out to the Lord, "you told me that your yoke is easy and your burden is light, so what exactly is the burden that I am to bear right now?" With that, I can calmly set down the baby who has been fed enough to last another five minutes, clean up the toddler, and sit back down with my infant. As she nurses, the seven-year-old may sit near us and she and I can go over her math. The dishes have no soul, so they can wait. There's a good rule for you; if it doesn't have a soul, it can wait for those who do. Just because his burden is easy doesn't mean that we can relax, but we can rest in knowing that no matter how constant the needs are, He is by our side bearing them with us.

Holidays

2007-10-29T14:39:00.001-07:00

It seems that for many Americans, a holiday is about what you do. What are the traditions that make that day stand out from the rest of the year? How you celebrate that day is essentially what that day is. For example, one might say, "every year we have black eyed peas on New Year's Day and we watch football, and that is what makes that day special." Given, a holiday is definitely celebrated by what you do. But it seems that quite often, no thought is given to the reason behind the celebration. Sure, we have Thanksgiving where we remember the Pilgrims primly dressed in their black and white and the Native Americans with the big feather headdresses. But, true depth in the purpose for celebration is often lacking.

For many Christians, we are seeking to change this. We are trying harder to educate our children about the history of our Holy Days and focus more on the meaning for the celebration while we prepare the Turkey, etc. I think that is why so many of us have a problem with celebrating Halloween. We have trouble celebrating when there is no cause for it. Not that we think that there is anything wrong with children dressing up and getting candy. It sounds like fun. But, what is the reason? Simply stated, there is no cause for celebration. We could get all into the pagan roots of Samhain and how evil the evening is. Meanwhile, it isn't likely that any of our neighbors are celebrating Samhain, they're just celebrating harmless costumes and candy wondering what we abstainers are so uptight about. What it boils down to for me is that my heart just isn't in it. And if my heart isn't in it, then why do it?

In our Protestant home, we like to make a big deal of Reformation Day. I consider this as basically the Independence Day of the Protestant church. It is a day where we can rejoice and celebrate God's sovereignty in preserving the church and his truth as written in the Bible. Last weekend, our church held a festival where I got to plan the games. All of the games were centered around the Reformation and were great fun. Here are some pictures of covenant children celebrating their heritage:

a young carpenter in a hammering contest

The stained glass shoppe was a hit

My firstborn is trying to pin the theses on the door.

Here's wishing you all a Happy Reformation Day!

The Fall

2007-10-26T09:46:00.000-07:00

I suppose the issue has been around for awhile. But, lately I've been contemplating sin and genetics. It seems that there is always new scientific research which leads to the conclusion that this or that various sin is genetic. (although, I have yet to see a scientist call it sin) From a worldly perspective, we look at this research and say, "Oh, that poor sinner, he can't help it, it must be okay for him to do it, then." This genetic research is one of the main reasons for popular acceptance of homosexual behavior.

However, if we apply the world's logic across the board, then we must accept murder as okay because psychopathic disorders are deemed genetic. So, perhaps we only accept genetics if the compulsion doesn't infringe upon the rights of other people which would leave out the psychopaths. In that case, is the genetic tendency toward addiction acceptable? Should we just give up upon alcoholics as a lost cause and allow them to give into their predisposition to become addicted to alcohol? Maybe we only allow it if they don't beat their families while in a drunken rage. No. Sin is sin.

I believe that because of this mainstream acceptance, many Christians have had a knee-jerk reaction loudly proclaiming that homosexuality is not genetic. I am far from being an expert, but I question that knee-jerking. Personally, I don't have a problem with the research that concludes that these sins may be genetic. I reason that the Fall was complete and total. For sin to seep to the genetic level is not unfathomable to me. In fact, I suppose that if they did a research study to discover whether the sin of pride were genetic, they could easily nail me as a genetically prideful person. Just because I am (supposedly) predisposed to this particular sin, does not make it okay for me to disobey the word of God. It only means that one person will struggle more intensely with a particular sin than other people will. I have always believed that each of us has certain sins which we struggle with more than others. "Shall the thing formed say to him who has made it, "why hast thou made me thus?" No.

Our constant struggle with sin is only a daily reminder of our need for a Savior. If we say that sin is okay, then we lose that need. If we lose that need, then all is lost indeed.

A Day in the Country

2007-10-23T09:47:00.000-07:00

Last Sunday, after church we made the 45 mile trek to an apple orchard where they hold a big pumpkin patch day of fun for the kids every October. This is our third year to go, so I suppose it's becoming a tradition. The kids always love it. And it's so nice to spend the afternoon outdoors with them. Again, the little lady slept through the whole thing. When we were out, we noticed that the farmhouse and ten acres across the street are for sale. I'm thinkin' about moving...

Rest

2007-10-18T14:06:00.001-07:00

You know, it's amazing how wonderful five solid hours of sleep can feel after a few weeks with a newborn. For two nights in a row now, the babe has slept from 11 pm to 4 am. Then she nurses and goes back down until 7:30 or 8:00. Wow, I can totally handle this! Let's hope that tonight she goes for three in a row.

Yes, I do feel more energized. Enough to even skip my afternoon nap two days in a row. This afternoon, the soft sounds of Hem arose from the small CD player as the little two slept, the big girls cheerfully picked up their room, and I caught up on folding my mountain of laundry. Next, the girls and I did our first art lesson together and enjoyed some quiet drawing time outside in the somewhat cooler Autumn air. Sounds lovely, doesn't it? Well, it's not always this way. But, I am thankful for today.

My secret weapon through it all? Coffee. Yes, I have discovered to joys of having both a cup in the morning, and one in the afternoon. I know, I know, caffeine is not so good for you. However, I prefer to believe that God made that little coffee bean just for tired Mamas like me trying to do their job well.

The Fog

2007-10-11T12:06:00.000-07:00

My little baby is four weeks old today, she hits the official one month mark on Saturday. I can't believe it. It's so wild how foggy a post-partum brain can get. I told a friend yesterday that this is about as close to the eternal perspective as we can get on this earth, where one month is like one day. Really, they are all just blurring still - I am so dizzy.

Each morning it's nurse the baby, change the diapers, fix the coffee(!), feed the kids, do the dishes, dress the kids, wash the kid's sheets that were "messed" during the night, do a little more laundry, get some lessons done with the big girls, try to smile and dance a little with the kiddos so they don't get scared that Mommy's turned into a zombie, do some dishes, pick up, pick up, pick up, and crash for as long as the wee one will let me.

It's not all chaos. I do get to witness some sweet moments of sibling love, or catch a sticky squeeze from my little man. And today, Daddy came home for lunch in the work truck which is brown, instead of his personal truck which is red. And, as he was pulling out of the driveway, my silly second daughter shouted "Daddy really needs to wash that truck, it doesn't even look red anymore!"

And so, we dance and we laugh. We do and we rest. Life is dizzy, but it's giddy.

It's time for me to crash.

True Community

2007-10-09T12:32:00.000-07:00

We consider ourselves blessed to be a part of a very sweet, gospel-driven church plant in our community. This church has furthered our view of what community is through their love for us, especially during this recent pregnancy and delivery. This Sunday, we'll bring our new little one to be baptized. And, I wanted to share with you a letter to our church that the pastor is allowing us to put in the bulletin:

"Dear Brothers and Sisters in Christ,

As we bring our new baby to be baptized this morning, we can not help but reflect upon what a blessing each of you is to us. We are so thankful to be a part of such a wonderful, covenant community. We have felt the love of Christ so strongly through your words and actions.

As we blissfully announced our pregnancy, you shared in our joy. As we endured morning sickness, you sympathized and encouraged. As Mama's belly grew, you had nothing but sweet words to say about that growing child inside. When bedrest was ordered, you rushed in to lighten our load. And, when our baby arrived, you rejoiced with us. Your precious gifts, and wholesome meals delivered to our house have made this time of transition much more peaceful.

Each of you is dear to us, and we are so grateful that our little girl was born into this loving church family. She is here today, healthy and strong, because of God's goodness and your faithfulness.

With love"

We hope that we can be such a blessing to others in the future!

Perfection

2007-10-03T14:04:00.000-07:00

We are blessed to live near a big city with a nice symphony. And, not only that, but this symphony performs children's concerts for three bucks a ticket! So, every year, we get to go to four concerts - it's wonderful.

This morning was a girl's morning in that I pawned off the little man on a friend. (one lap baby is all I can handle on a field trip!) So, the little ladies and I set off for the well-timed, 45 - minute concert. I always love taking my children to hear the symphony. The experience of good quality, live music is one that is so rich and I want for them to be exposed to it as much as possible.

This morning, as I was enjoying the sleeping baby in my arms, and the lovely sounds of Mendelssohn's Symphony #1, I was struck by the beauty of precision. The music wouldn't be nearly so lovely had not each instrumentalist practiced his part to perfection. So often, I am satisfied with 'good enough' in my own efforts. But, my laziness deprives the world of beauty. While we can't truly be perfect, we were told to:

"be perfect, as your heavenly father is perfect" Matthew 5:48

And so, good enough really isn't. We are called to strive toward precision which best displays the perfection of our creator and leads to His glory when we give it to Him. May our efforts be our best so that the beauty can be seen.

Happy Birthday, my Five-Year-Old

2007-09-27T07:19:00.000-07:00

Last weekend, my sweet second born turned five.

This little one is my off-the-wall kiddo, we never quite know what she's gonna say or do.
Yesterday, at her well check, she told the doctor:
"You have lines in your eyes, your tired!"
As Mommy hid her face, the doctor kindly replied:
"You're right, I didn't get much sleep last night."

She definitely keeps us on our toes, and usually laughing, too!

Thankfully, her Mimi was up for the task of organizing a party since Mommy really wasn't : )

The Fiesta began with a game of bingo, and then proceeded to musical chairs accompanied by "The Macarena."

The smallest senorita slept through the whole thing.

The pinata was hit, but only Daddy could break it!

My non-cake-eater enjoyed her birthday brownies.

What's a fiesta without finishing with a little dancing?

Happy birthday, my girl, and you really had better obey your Mommy this year and stop growing up!

Feasting (mentally)

2007-09-24T09:41:00.000-07:00

Charlotte Mason and those who've written about her methods speak often of an education being a feast that you lay before your children; allowing them a little taste of many different subjects each day. I love this idea of raising them with fat, well-nourished minds and souls; while allowing them to "taste" so many different things.

Well, lately at our house things have been a bit busy to say the least. And so, I've told myself, "well, if we can just cover the basics like language arts and math each day, then we're doing okay." The result of this has been two children who don't really like doing schoolwork. And when Daddy asks them what they've been learning they usually say something along the lines of "awww, nothing." My pride perks up here and realizes that this doesn't speak so well of me as a teacher. I may be keeping up with basic second grade and kindergarten, but I am doing nothing to excite them about learning. This "basic" education is pretty much the equivalent of feeding them bread and water; enough for subsistence, but seriously lacking in vitamins and variety. My kids were being malnourished.

So, last week I pulled out our history curriculum and read to them about WWI. They were fascinated! And, that night, they were excited to tell Daddy what they had learned that day. And so, I realized that the "extras" are really just as important as "the basics" for these little growing minds. If we have time for only a few subjects, sometimes it's okay to skip math to do a fun science lesson. After all, the whole goal is for them to love learning, right?

Finally!

2007-09-18T19:28:00.000-07:00

Thursday morning, after a rough surgery, a beautiful baby girl was born. We heard her cry, and saw her face, her hair is red! Shortly after her birth, she was taken to the NICU because she had some fluid in her lungs and was struggling a bit to breathe. After a 24 hour stay, which broke her Mommy's heart, she was dismissed to the newborn nursery. For five days she received an antibiotic treatment through an IV in her sweet little arm to treat any potential infections in her new little lungs. Late last night we brought our new little princess home to her two sisters eager to hold and kiss her. The ride home was emotional for me, and upon crossing the threshold into our home, I burst into tears. Tears of relief to be home, and tears of joy at what an amazing thing it is to add a new child to our family.

As her big sister said, "she will live her, and grow here, and be ours forever!"
Praise be to God for this beautiful new life!

Final Pregnant Thoughts

2007-09-12T11:35:00.000-07:00

Doing laundry.
Picking up.
Wiping down.
And, sweeping up.

Tomorrow's our day!

I can't believe that I get to do this again.
I love the newborn days!
By 8:30 am, I will be holding this baby in my arms.
I can't wait to look into her eyes for the first time.

Remembering

2007-09-11T09:10:00.000-07:00

Well, after all the scares of possible premature delivery, I'm still here. I thank the Lord for carrying this baby and me through. Knowing that her due date was close to this day, I have hoped all along to not have a 9/11 baby. It would not have been horrible, but I am thankful that my child's birthday will not forever be associated with a national tragedy.

On this day, six years ago, I remember being a young, first time teacher of the first grade. I remember the headmaster coming to my classroom early to inform me that the world trade center had been bombed, for this is what was believed at the time. I remember the darkness of that morning and the fear of another attack, perhaps closer to home. I remember sneaking phone calls to my husband making plans for picking up our one year old daughter and where we would meet up should anything happen. I remember turning on the radio while my students were at PE to hear the news. I remember dropping to my knees in prayer and weeping over the sudden loss of comfort and safety.

Today, I am thankful that another attack has not occurred. I am thankful to be safe and warm in the very same house, now a little more full of children. I am thankful to know that He who Reigns on High is in control of it all.

Not Yet

2007-09-07T07:06:00.000-07:00

My doctor put her foot down yesterday, and said "no." I cried, even though I understood her reasoning. I am 38 weeks today, and the medical standards say that the earliest a doctor should electively take a baby out is at 38 weeks and 5 days. I can bear the discomfort of sciatica and general 'heaviness' for another week if that is what is best for this little one. My main concern was that I really wanted to insure that my doctor would be the one performing this difficult fourth c-section. If I go into labor this weekend, it will not be her.

I feel like such a whiney baby.

By next Thursday, this child will be here and all that matters is that she is healthy. Please pray for me that I will make it that long, and that the surgery would go smoothly. And, especially pray for the health of this sweet little one.

It is times like this when I must live like I believe. I am seeking to rest in His sovereignty above all else. He has never done me wrong, for he can not. It is so good to be His.

Waiting For You

2007-09-05T13:55:00.000-07:00

This used to be my office. A tiny little 9x5 space off of my bedroom is now her room. It is just enough space for a crib and a changing table. All it is lacking is our little lady. I am going to see the doctor tomorrow, and she may deliver the baby on Friday. I can't wait to hold her little body in my arms!

Why?

2007-08-31T12:14:00.000-07:00

Perhaps you have already seen this, but today I was thumbing through the new CBD catalog when I came across a new item in the children's Bible section:
Does it not look very like this?Not only that, but this Bible offers "dream girl" sections, "Bring it On" life application quizzez, and "Oh, I get it!" answers."

Why, oh why do Christians continue to copy our mediocre culture?!

Always Learning

2007-08-28T14:44:00.000-07:00

What my recent resting has taught me:

Patience: This one is obvious.

Humility: Through accepting the love and help of my family and covenant community. I've been overwhelmed with the generosity of everyone around me. It has truly been a blessing to feel the love of Christ through each of them.

Selflessness: Through realizing that this really is not about me, it's about the life and health of the precious baby within me. Despite my discomfort and annoyance, her little life takes priority right now. Each additional day in the womb she grows a little stronger.

I am no longer on bed rest. This Friday, I reach full term (37 weeks). And, I thank the Lord for his faithfulness and that of his people. I look forward to sharing the good news with you soon!

Big Momma

2007-08-20T07:22:00.001-07:00

Before every child's birth, we have taken this picture of a very pregnant Momma with her kiddos (except for the first pregnancy, of course!). So, this is the classic shot a taken a little earlier than usual, just in case we don't get another chance. Today, I am 35 weeks and 3 days along. I have only 3 1/2 weeks before my scheduled c-section on Sept. 13th. Although I am growing weary of being pregnant, for her sake I do hope that I can make it at least another week and a half.

Undeserved Fruit

2007-08-16T08:37:00.000-07:00

With her pretty green eyes more serious than most children of her age, the seven-year-old young lady listened as her Mother explained the situation. Mommy's baby was trying to come out, but it was still too early. So, Mommy needed to be very still and rest a lot to make sure that the baby's lungs developed enough to breathe on her own.

The precocious little woman listened intently, indicated that she understood, then went on about her day. That evening, after dinner, she got up from her seat and proceeded to clear the table as was her usual chore. But then she carried her little stool next to the kitchen sink and proceeded to do the job that was normally left for Mommy. She washed the dishes for the very first time. Afterwards, she commented that she really liked washing the dishes and that she wanted to do it every night. And so she has.

God is so gracious to bless our feeble efforts at parenthood.

Human Incubator

2007-08-10T12:58:00.000-07:00

That's what I'm feeling like now. Yesterday morning at 2:30am, I awoke my husband to inform him that my contractions just weren't stopping. They had been going on since 8:45 the night before. So, being a repeat c-section, we got to go into L & D very early where I was poked and prodded until the contractions ceased. I'm thankful that they were able to stop them so that this little girl can develop a little more before meeting us all.

So, for now, I'm ordered to take it easy. No housework, lifting, time in the heat, etc. And so, I sit and wait like a Mama chicken sitting on her eggs. I can't wait to meet her, but I would like for it to be once she is strong enough to survive without the aid of machines or medicines. In only three weeks, she will be considered full term.

Knowing that this is my last baby, I think that I'll just sit back and focus on how cool it is to feel her little feet poking my belly - even when she's doing karate.

Have a great weekend!

just thinking...

2007-08-03T07:53:00.000-07:00

With five weeks to go, it's really starting to hit me that very soon I will be the mother of four small people. I will have a 7, (almost)5, 2 and new-year-old to love and teach. I am certainly excited about this new little body separating from mine because it will fell good to not be pregnant anymore, and because I really look forward to holding her little body. But, there will be all new challenges for this Mama who already struggles with leaving the house with my three. I'm beginning to wonder if we'll ever get out again.

I guess, in a way, I 'm preparing myself for a year or two of pretty much staying close to home while finding creative ways to complete the tasks and errands that my husband depends on me for. I hardly remember Ma ever leaving the house, she kept herself quite busy right there. Now, if only my Laura and Mary could walk into town for me : )

I'm certainly not complaining, for I have yet to experience greater joy than the joy of adding to our family. Watching relationships form between my children, and developing my own bond with this little one are certainly things to enjoy in all their sweetness. I suppose I am just a bit anxious, anxious to see what this will really look like. And, excited to see how He will carry me through it.

Not So Terrible

2007-07-30T07:45:00.000-07:00

My little man turned two on Saturday.

His sisters helped make cupcakes.

They turned out pretty cute.

He played with his sister in the 'wops' (rocks).

He had fun playing with his chalk,

and jumping in the bubbles.

Despite everyone's predictions, he blew out those candles on the first try!

Happy Birthday, my little man. You are so loved.

To believe and obey

2007-07-26T19:58:00.000-07:00

I am a member of a conservative, reformed denomination. I consider it a privilage to have a local, bible-believing, gospel-preaching church. Since joining this denomination, I have been increasingly challenged to live my life from a biblical perspective. This means that my opinions no longer matter, that I must live my life according to what the Lord has revealed in his word. With this perspective, there's no more 'I'm okay, you're okay.' There is simply right and wrong.

Many Christians will consider a social issue from a worldly perspective and thoughtfully form their conclusions based upon their own feelings or experiences. But, I can't do that. My feelings and experiences don't trump God's word. His word rules. This is a more rigid way of living. Some might even call it closed-minded. But, for a Bible believing Christian there really is no other option. We are called to believe and obey.

My heart is aching tonight for a fellow Christian, and others like her who have bought into the world's lies on social issues. Believing that a woman has a right to her own body more than a child has a right to his own life is flat out lie. God says that murder is wrong. Period.

It saddens me to discover that even in my conservative little church, Satan is still at work deceiving. I am not angry with this person, but I pray for her that the Lord will change her heart. And, I pray that he will reveal to me other areas of my life where I am not fully submitting to his word.

May he continue to sanctify us until we reach our glory.

Getting Ready

2007-07-24T14:06:00.000-07:00

The scent of Ivory Snow fills the house as tiny little girl clothes are re-discovered in their rubbermaid boxes. Memories flood my mind of what it was like to hold my firstborn, and what my second daughter looked like in this pretty Christmas dress. What a gift to be able to do it again. What a treasure this new daughter already is.

At nearly thirty-two weeks, I am feeling a sense of urgency about being prepared. So, the office off of our bedroom is being relocated to a corner and the empty room being made ready for our newest little heir. Fabrics are being chosen and fashioned into a new bumper, quilt and curtains. Storage boxes for under the crib are being filled with sweet baby blankets and sheets. Organized chaos is occurring, and I believe that my husband would like to begins seeing more organization and less chaos. So would I...

I'll be sure to give you all a peek when the nursery is done.

Creeping

2007-07-12T14:19:00.000-07:00

You know how vines creep, sometimes rather quickly, up the wall and through the window? An old house may have nice green ivy floors and wallpaper after several years of abandonment.

As I gaze about my house, I've noticed that books and curriculum have begun to spread out from their original small shelf in the dining room. They've claimed several shelves in the living room. There are lesson plans strewn out on the dining room table (which is now in the living room as the dining room has been completely eaten up by the homeschooling vine). My office has stacks of our new Tapestry of Grace binders and Dolch word flash cards awaiting their appointment with the scissors. Often, our Pathway Readers are left on the couch. And, I'm always finding bits of cut-up construction paper on the floor. I suspect this is due to my four-year-old's recent interest in scissors.

Yes, homeschooling has changed our home. It is a different place than it would be if my children attended school during the day. Heck, I might actually have a dining room! But, I wouldn't trade those sweet moments of reading with my children on the couch, or sweeping up the paper scraps for the long days of wondering how they're doing. Because of homeschooling, I know exactly how their reading is progressing, and whether or not they're learning to obey cheerfully. Sure, there are wonderful parents who are able to send their children to school and still remain very aware and involved with them, and that's great. But, I'm glad see the vine spreading in our home. It makes me smile because I know that He has called us to this, and because I get to see so many of their smiles.

Next to Godliness

2007-06-18T12:32:00.000-07:00

Halfway through June, and not a single post - pretty pathetic!

My days have been full of spring, better make that summer cleaning. Being a little sick at the beginning of spring, I'm just now getting around to scraping that gunk off of the laundry room floor and spraying out the kitchen trash can. I'm also wondering why I always find so much junk in my house the week after large trash pickup!

A clean house is a worthy goal that I repeatedly fall short of. But, I've come up with a plan for regular maintainance, and the munchkins will be included in it. We'll conquer this sticky, dusty house yet! Lord willing, that is. For it is only by his strength that I can possibly accomplish it. I would much rather sit here and write to you, but he has called me to care for my family and home. And so, off I go to clean a poop-stained crib bumper for His glory.

My Funny Middle Child

2007-05-31T13:49:00.000-07:00

Yesterday, in the car, my middle one (who is four) very seriously asked me:

"Mommy, when Daddy grows up, will he be the Grandpa that lives with you?"
"Yes, sweetie, he will."
"Oh, he will be such a good Grandpa to my children."

It's so much fun for me to see their little minds figuring things out. For some reason, all of those family relations get a little tricky to figure out. Like Grandma is Daddy's Mom, and when he was little, he lived with her.
That kiddo of mine; she's always thinking, I can't wait to see the things that she writes someday!

C-section woes

2007-05-24T08:38:00.000-07:00

My firstborn came as a huge suprise, and brought about a major shift in my lifestyle and thinking. Having her was the main way in which the Lord brought me back to himself. And, I am so thankful. Everytime I see her beautiful little face, I remember his goodness in restoring me. (well, maybe not everytime, but at least most of the time). Over the years, adding to our family has been such a joy.

I love the feeling of those first little kicks in the womb.
I love beholding my new child for the first time.
I love watching as older siblings immediately love their new little one.
I love having a baby to hold and rock.
I just love this stage.

And so, this fourth baby is difficult for me, because it means the end of a season. This will be my fourth c-section, and with my massive amounts of scar tissue, even this one will be a high risk surgery. My husband and I feel sure that this ought to be the last one, for the sake of my health - I just can't do this again.

And so, I cherish these last few months as I feel my little unborn one move and kick. I look forward to meeting her and holding her, rocking her and nursing her. And, with teary eyes, I anticipate this next season knowing that God is good, and He will continue to be so.

New Music

2007-05-12T09:56:00.000-07:00

This morning I downloaded the new Feist cd off of itunes, and I have to say that it was well worth the $9.99. I have been a fan of this group for a couple of years now, and the new album does not dissappoint. It has made our morning of laundry folding and ironing much more enjoyable!

Homeschooling, year in review and planning

2007-05-10T11:44:00.000-07:00

We are currently wrapping up the first grade at our house. We follow a classical/Charlotte Mason model. I would like to use this post to review what we've done and ask for suggestions for next year. I would also love to hear what you've been studying.

This year, I have followed the literature lists from ambleside online. I liked that the lists included excellent, classic books. My daughter has expecially enjoyed the fiction reading. The only thing that I would do differently is that I feel a study of American History would've been more beneficial to our family than a study of English history. I will probably use them as a resource in the future, but never exclusively.

I have done 'some' nature study for science. We can identify some of our local birds, flowers and trees. We also started Apologia's Astronomy book which I will likely continue next year. I think that Nature study is a wonderful way to slowly introduce the world of science to little people. My only trouble is that I don't know any of it, so it becomes difficult for me to learn and teach very effectively. I see this as something that we'll master over many years. And, we really liked Apologia.

We used Phonics Museum for Phonics, Reading, Spelling and Handwriting. (it includes Modern Manuscript) This program was thorough, but hasn't produced as fluent of a reader as I'd hoped for, and was rather laborious at times. The readers, while certainly well-intentioned are full of contrived phrases which strive to incorporate the current phonics over making sense. One example is that we read a whole book about Rockwall Jackson. I am certainly open for considering a different curriculum to use with my kindergartner next year.

I used Singapore for Math. And, I really like it a lot. It encourages thinking about numbers and how they fit together over rote memory of facts. In my opinion, memorizing 2+2=4 doesn't mean much unless they understand why. I have loved the conversations that my daughter just starts up about numbers. Also the lessons are short, we rarely spent more than 30 minutes per day on Math. And, the books are cheap! The whole year cost us about $25. We'll keep this one.

For Grammar, we used First Language Lessons for the Well Trained Mind. This program is written to be covered over two years (first and second grade). My daughter knows what a noun, pronoun, and verb are. She has also learned the Months, Seasons and Days of the week. The program also includes story and picture narration. At about 5-10 minutes per lesson, this is a nice, gentle way to begin Grammar. We will probably use Shurley in later years, but this is great for now.

I took my kids to the symphony, but didn't formally cover art or music appreciation as much as I would've liked to. I think that I might need an informal coop for next year to be sure that this gets covered.

As for next year, here's what I'm considering. Let me know if you have any advice or experience on the following subjects:

Reading (kinder) - considering Phonics Pathways, Teach Your Child to Read in 100 easy lessons, or just using Phonics Museum again. I am definately open to ideas.

Spelling (2nd) - considering the Grammar of Spelling, or Spelling Workout. Ideas?

History/Geography (K & 2) - TruthQuest History American History part 1, I'm pretty much decided on this unless you know of a better elementary early American History program.

Math (K & 2) - Singapore! And will add in some fact memorization work for the second grader.

Spanish (K&2) - Phrase a Day looks pretty good, I don't want to spend a lot of money. Any other ideas?

Science (K & 2) - Either Apologia or NOEO, any experience with either?

Handwriting - StartWrite, I just found this computer program that allows me to print out my own custom sheets in a variety of different handwriting formats. It looks like all I'll need for all four of the kiddos! At $35 dollars, it's kind of a lot up front, but I'm sure that it will save me plenty over the years.

Literature - I will probably just pull from a lot of different lists and keep on readin' good ones! I think that I might like some early readers with study packets for my older one - any suggestions on where I could find that?

Wow, if you read this huge post and are commenting for me, you are one amazing woman!

Random Thoughts on Crafts and Cheese

2007-05-03T12:52:00.000-07:00

At age 21, I was already a wife and mother to a one year old. I was also a fulltime student on Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays; and a preschool teacher on Tuesdays and Thursdays. I taught a two-year-old class at a Mother's day out. At this particular preschool, crafts were an essential part to each day. They needed to be planned, supplies gathered and executed. However, I found that it was extremely rare that the children were ever able to complete even some of the project on their own. And so, I would neatly assemble 8 crafts, often with a fingerprint or two from the little one, and send them home.
I began to feel that the absurdity of this practice should be obvious to all. However, I was mistaken. Many, many teachers are convinced that craft projects are a necessary part to any classroom experience. Now, I am certainly not knocking creative activities. I think that it is wonderful for children to experiment with watercolors and different types of papers, crayons and clay. As they grow older, and more capable, I love the idea of learning through doing, especially when studying the great artists. What I am talking about here is a three-year-old teacher feeling compelled to provide supplies for the children to create their own cardboard Noah's Ark (which they really can't do) and send it home only to be stomped on in the car and sent directly to the garbage can. I, for one, really don't have the space in my home for acquiring 25 painted toilet paper tubes shaped into a Christmas tree by my child's teacher.
With homeschooling, we are free from the obligation to have 'craft time' as our principal shares my sentiments. However, I recently visited a homeschool coop where this practice is alive and well in the 3 & 4 year olds classroom. Upon exiting the building at the end of the day, I observed about 12 green paper towel rolls standing up in green paper bowls with flowers coming out the top. What was obvious was that no child had assembled them, what was not obvious was exactly what they were supposed to be.
If you are a pro-crafter, I hope that I have not extremely offended you but rather inspired you to think outside the crafting box. If you were already an anti-crafter, I hope that I have encouraged you to be more vocal in your efforts to stop the preschool cheese. If you were undecided, I hope that you have now made up your mind.
Also, I apologize for my harsh tone. I am acquainted with many pro-crafting women who I deem to be very kind and caring. I just happen to disagree with them on this issue.

cloudy

2007-04-27T08:34:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've felt like my mind is too cloudy to write. This pregnancy must really be settling in and taking over! I just can't put coherent thoughts together right now, and I don't want for my blogging to go the way of my brain - to mush.
So... I just thought I'd let ya know that I'll write when I can. Also, we found out this week that we're having a baby girl. Her sisters are very excited!
Have a great weekend!

Weekend Firsts

2007-04-16T16:28:00.000-07:00

Big girl's first missing tooth.

Baby's first pair of sandals.

Dancing with Daddy

2007-04-12T15:02:00.000-07:00

He may not be a ballroom dancer, but he can turn up the Beach Boys and boogie with his favorite little ladies. My girls ask to dance with theirDaddy almost every night, and he usually obliges rather cheerfully. Even the little man wants to get in on the action! I just love watching them, and knowing that memories of a beautiful childhood are being built at that very moment. It is such a gift to have a husband who is also such a fun and loving father.

Crazy

2007-04-04T13:49:00.000-07:00

As I grow in my faith and knowledge of the Lord, I often become inclined to make major changes in my life. At this stage, they usually, but not always, have to do with the way that I raise my children.

As I came to better understand the sovereignty of God, my husband and I decided that we wanted to raise our children in a church where the truth of the scriptures was upheld and not watered down. This required a denominational switch which was difficult for some who love us to understand. They kind of thought that we were crazy.

As I've learned more about what God desires for families, and my role to train them up in his nurture and admonition; I've felt compelled to homeschool my children. I'm not saying that I believe this is a scriptural requirement, I just felt that I could personally be most obedient by homeschooling my own. Now, people who love us worry a little. Are we gonna end up looking like we just stepped off of the pages of "Little House on the Prairie?"

As I study the word and learn about God's requirements of us, I see no excuse for youthful rebellion which is so commonly accepted as 'normal' and 'okay' by many members of the faith. I'm not saying that I believe I can prevent my children from rebelling. But, I will raise them as Christians and expect for them to live like Christians. If my children rebel, then my husband and I will do all we can to call them back to the Lord, even if this involves seeking help or discipline from the church leadership. Rebellion will never be considered normal or okay. I know, now they all think that I'm totally nuts.

As I read the word, and believe it; as I grow to love my Lord more and more; I can't help but change the way that I do things. To some it may look like I can't make up my mind, but to me it's called sanctification. God is working in me to produce a person who will, one day, be like Jesus. It's a slow process, for I've got a lot of sanctifying left to go through. So, as I'm faced with awkward silences or the rolling of eyes from people that I love, I turn to the one who loved me first. It is him and him alone who I am called to please. And, he warned me that this would happen when he told me that:

"If you were of the world, the world
would love you as it's own; but because
you are not of the world, but I chose
you out of the world, therefore the
world hates you."
John 15:19

So, they think that I'm crazy. I guess that's not quite as bad as hating me. And, since it's for his glory, I'll cling to him and let him carry me through it looking forward to the day when all will be as it ought.

Birthday preparations

2007-03-29T16:35:00.000-07:00

Tomorrow, Princess Tigerlily (who has now decided that she's Wendy) will be celebrating her seventh birthday. This week has been a busy one for me as I'm finally rounding the corner from my first trimester sickness and the house was waaaayy behind! So, the house is cleaner, the cupcakes are baked (from scratch - of course :), and the games have been prepared.
The birthday girl has chosen a, you guessed it, Peter Pan theme to her party. So, we'll be playing Pin the Shadow on Peter, Capture the Croc, and Tigerlily's Escape. It should be a fun time. I'll post pics over the weekend.
Tonight, I'll tell my eldest the story of her birth - seven whole years ago. Time goes by so quickly. God is so good.

Treasures

2007-03-23T12:15:00.000-07:00

I recently completed reading Edith Schaeffer's "The Hidden Art of Homemaking" for my book club. In it, she often speaks of a mother's need for creativity. She encourages us that we all have the ability to be creative and that it is in the process of being creative that new ideas are born. Being creative in our homes is a blessing to our family in that it makes the home a lively and cheery place where they are free to also be creative!
On that note, I have recently inherited some dear possessions of my great-grandmother's. She passed away when I was only five. My grandmother is in the season of life where she is scaling back on stuff and downsizing her home. So, she has passed many treasures on to me. I have been the recipient of a plethora of wonderful books, mostly on nature as that was my grandmother's favorite subject! She has also passed to me some projects and materials that belonged to her mother. Among them are:

Some complete and incomplete embroidery projects:
As she got older, she was less able to see well enought to complete these.
The one that says 'Wedded' was intended to be a gift to my mother on her wedding day.

Some vintage fabric scraps which I may just have to use to make a few cute hotpads via Anna's instructions:

And, most precious of all, I can sew these things on the very Singer that my great-grandmother used. It still runs beautifully, I might add.

I am blessed to be the covenant daughter of a believing mother, grandmother, great-grandmother, and probably even more! It is a privilage to join in with these generations to serve the Lord in my home.

"The counsel of the Lord stands forever, the plans of his heart to all generations."
Psalm 33:11

Spring Cheer

2007-03-14T09:44:00.000-07:00

I love our homeschooling life. I love that I don't have to wake, feed, and dress all of my children early each morning to rush out the door. I love that my daughter is learning so much about so many subjects. I love that her lessons rarely take more than two hours of her day. I love that she gets plenty of time with her siblings to play. I love that her afternoons are free to splash in mud puddles created by a recent Spring drenching.

Yes, the Robins are here searching the grass for their worms. Their sweet call of "cheerily, cheerily" really does cheer us up. The sun is out, and children make the season all the more sweet.
Wanna come over and splash in the puddles with us?

More on Expanding

2007-03-09T14:52:00.000-08:00

If someone had told me 10 years ago that by the time I was 27, I'd be the homeschooling mother of four, I would have laughed. One, because I would never homeschool my kids, homeschoolers are weird. And, two, because there's no way that I would have that many kids by age 27! It's funny how God works, you know:

"The heart of a man plans his way, but the Lord establishes his steps." Proverbs 16:9

I think that it's easier to see in retrospect, as an adult. The steps that the Lord has established in my life are pretty far from what my plans were. But, he is so good, and his steps are infinitely more pleasant than my silly plans.

He has used his steps to expand my pleasures. I take pleasure in raising my children and caring for our home. I really never thought that I could be a stay at home Mom, until he directed my steps that way. I am often overwhelmed by how gracious he is to not only direct us, but to move our hearts to actually enjoy it!

Today, I realized that he's added a new pleasure to my life. I have always liked plants, but my thumb has always been purple, and I've hated digging in the dirt. That is, until recently. This week, I added a flower bed to our backyard. I did the clearing, the trenching, the digging - everything. And, I liked it! Here is the fruit of my labor.

It's not much, and I ran out of fencing for the back - I'll have to get another roll tomorrow. But, I love my little flower bed. And, I look forward to watching the plants blossom and expand, just like he has expanded my life.

I also found this cute little pot on sale and I couldn't pass it up for the front porch. I've filled it with some little white Begonias.
So, how has He expanded your life?

The Great Maternity Switch-out

2007-03-07T15:11:00.000-08:00

Yes, you know what I'm talking about. Whenever you're about 12 weeks pregnant, you finally believe that you really are having a baby. So, you empty your closet of the clothes that won't be fitting for the next 6 months or so and fill it with more 'generously' sized clothing.

Well, I made the switch today. All of my regular clothes are neatly folded in a big cardboard box. And, my closet is lined with rows of attire eager to accomadate my expanding belly.

Aaaah... glad that's done.

Pluralism and Christianity

2007-03-05T06:21:00.000-08:00

Pluralism: The belief that no single explanatory system or view of reality can account for all the phenomena of life (American Heritage Dictionary)

We are living in a pluralistic society in that there are many different philosophies out there about life and the afterlife. We also live in a time when it is considered quite correct to not only respect these differing views, but to believe that each of them could be quite right. We should look for the good in our neighbor's point of view and lifestyle no matter how much it may differ from our own. Many people who hold this view will call themselves agnostic, or 'open-minded.' It is a nice idea that we would all thoroughly respect one another and have humility when it comes to our own opinions. After all, it does seem rather elitist to state that my way is right and all others are wrong.

Despite all of the potential goodness in this view, I cannot subscribe to it. As a Christian, I certainly believe in having respect for all men as they are created in His image. But, as a Bible-believing Christian, the pluralist view just won't fit. For, if I believe the Bible, then I have to believe that Jesus was speaking truth when he said:

"I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me" John 14:6 (emphasis mine)

For the Christian, there is but one road, and it is narrow. I may not hold the most popular view, but I am persuaded that it is true.

Never Cease to be Amazed

2007-02-27T16:44:00.000-08:00

"Great and amazing are your deeds, O Lord God the Almighty! Just and true are your ways, O King of the Nations!"
Revelation 15:3

It seems to me that I do not often pause to reflect on the amazing deeds the Lord has done in my life. When Jesus healed the sick, they were often amazed - why am I so slow to be amazed at his goodness all around me? So, I'd like to take some time to reflect on certain events in my life that truly were his amazing hands at work.

He has miraculously preserved my life and health through stupid teenage years, childbirth and highway driving. It has been his loving hand upon me that has protected me for his purposes.

He has transformed my heart of stone to a heart of flesh. Whenever I ponder this, I can't help but picture the breath of Aslan giving life to the statues in the witch's courts. He found me rebellious and in love with the world. And, he moved my heart toward seeking obedience and his glory.

Each one of my precious children is absolutely an amazing wonder. From the miracle of conception, to thriving in the womb, to entering the world safely, to growing into healthy little people. Each step of that is so intricate and complicated, yet my amazing God has done it all!

Out of all the billions of men in the world, he guided me to the one who was perfectly suited to be my husband. Each day I am more aware of how divinely arranged our marriage was.

I'll close with these and post more this week as they come to me. If you've read this and would like to also post some of the amazing things that He has done in your life, I'd love to hear about it!

Slacking

2007-02-20T14:41:00.000-08:00

Not too many people check this blog, but those who do may have been wondering why I haven't been posting so much lately. Well, I suppose it's about time to tell you that I'm . . . pregnant! Yes, baby number four is due to arrive early this fall. And, yes - I'm feeling pretty lousy. My husband says that I'm "out of it." I suppose that about sums it up.
Constant nausea for me means too much TV/movies for my children and everyone wondering what's for dinner. For some reason, I can get the laundry washed, I just haven't been able to fold and put it away. I now truly have a mountain of clean laundry in my bedroom. I suppose that'll be our closet for awhile.
And, my brain is somewhat inaccessable right now, so it's a bit more difficult to come up with something to blog about. However, I will try to leave you with something funny:

My second daughter has taken to the habit of shouting out the words "ice" and "beans" quite frequently and for no apparent reason. I suppose she likes the sound of them. Anyway, the baby who is barely talking has begun copying his sister. He is often heard in his crib quitely cooing "ice, beans."

The Word

2007-02-16T14:12:00.000-08:00

About a year and a half ago, I began formally teaching my oldest to read. When we began, I explained to her that reading was wonderful, and the main reason that I wanted for her to learn to read would be so that she could read the very words of God for herself. Well...
last week we opened a precious copy of the Young Reader's Bible, given to my grandparents by my great grandmother many years ago when their family was young. We opened to Genesis, and she read. As I reminded her that this was our whole goal in learning how to read, her pretty green eyes shone with pride.
Wow - I am so thankful that I was the one who got to see that. I just can't imagine letting someone else get those precious moments with my daughter.

True Love

2007-02-12T16:38:00.000-08:00

Weak in the knees
Lightheaded
Butterflies

These are all things that we associate with this special feeling we sometimes get for a particular member of the opposite sex. This sometimes violent and spontaneous attraction is what people often refer to as 'being in love.' It seems that many of us have this Hollywoodesque picture in our heads of what love and marriage will be like, should be like. To our detriment, we fantasize about blissful years of being in love; when reality holds stinky socks and stretch marks.
I'm not saying that love doesn't exist in marriage, but it's different. I'm reminded of what our Lord himself said in the book of John:

"Greater love has no one than this, that someone lay down his life for his friends." John 15:13

There could not be a better picture of "true love." When we love someone, it's not about how they make us feel so much as what we do to make them comfortable. A wife loves her husband by cleaning his smelly socks and a husband loves his wife by getting up far earlier than he would like to go to work and provide for her. We love by letting go of what I want or I need and focusing on what the other needs from us.
It saddens me to see single people who are afraid to get married because they aren't sure if they will always feel 'in love' and that frightens them. Those weak knees do go away for most. But, through obedience, they're replaced with a much greater love. It seems to me that the more I lay down my life for my husband, the more deeply I love him. The Lord ingeniously designed this relationship to be reciprocal and ongoing:

the more we love, the more they love, the more we love, the more...

Broken dishes

2007-02-07T14:36:00.000-08:00

We often hear of women 'spinning plates.' Well, I can't. I'm completely uncoordinated. Give me more than one, and I'll drop at least one. If our homeschool lessons are going well, then my husband has no clean pants to wear to work. And, if the house is perfectly neat and tidy, nobody knows what's for dinner.
I know that the Lord has promised not to give me more than I can handle. And, I trust that he is good. I've come to the realization that glorifying God during this season may look more like taking my toddler on my lab to cuddle and serving frozen pizza for dinner than having a model home and gourmet meals. I love to cook for my family, and I do believe that an orderly home brings a peacefulness that allows a family to rest. But, life is messy. Although we engage that mess, we will never be perfectly on top of it.
So, may our eyes look to heaven as we long for a time when nothing will break, or need maintaining. All will be right. I'll rest then.

Childhood Heroes

2007-01-31T13:28:00.001-08:00

My firstborn is now six. When she was five, she was first exposed to that fine piece of cinematic genious called "The Adventures of Shark Boy and Lava Girl." My husband took her to see the film. He said that it was awful; and, of course, she loved it. Soon thereafter, she refused to be called by her given name. She was now Lava Girl. Her notebooks were covered with drawings of the duo, and she was constantly trying to figure out how to make her hair pink like the heroine's.
Adventures at the playground became scenes from her favorite movie, as she "guided" the other children to play their parts. As her mother, I wasn't really concerned, just a little annoyed.

I thought:
"Why can't she have a more respectable hero? I proceeded to search for good quality children's missionary biographies to read her stories of real life heroes."

Well, I still haven't found those biographies. (any suggestions?) But, we did read "Peter Pan." And now, she is Tigerlily. When we go to church she writes Tigerlily on her name tag. When she meets someone new, she introduces herself as Tigerlily, and when her sister wants to ask her something, she must call her Tigerlily. (although we've been informed that Lily is also acceptable) Well, I do believe that this is an improvement. I certainly would rather her wish to be Tigerlily than Lava Girl. A brave Indian Princess from a classic novel is preferable to a cheesy heroine from a poorly made 'kid flick.' But, even more than that I want her to want to be like Jesus. He is faithful, and we will get there.

Childhood Heroes

2007-01-31T13:28:00.000-08:00

Working with our Hands

2007-01-29T10:50:00.000-08:00

Recently, I was given a breadmaker from my mother-in-law. It had been lurking in the dark cabinets of a friend of hers completely lonely and unused. (I hear that this happens often with these poor machines!) Since she knew that I like to make our family's bread, she generously offered to give hers to me. I was certainly thankful for the thoughtful gift.

The very first day, I put it to work. As my six-year-old entered the kitchen, I explained to her that this machine was doing all of the work for me. So, now we wouldn't have to knead the dough anymore. Her first response was "but, I like to knead the dough."

Shortly after, I came across a quote from a very wise woman. It said :

"Just as it is good to get one's fingers into the soil and plant seeds, so it is good to get one's fingers and fists into bread dough to knead and punch it."
"The Hidden Art of Homemaking" by Edith Schaeffer

And so, it seems to me that living is doing. It is getting our hands dirty and doing something wonderful with them. Whether it is wiping a baby to make him clean, cutting out a pattern and sewing the pieces together, or even kneading your own dough. I am not saying that we shouldn't ever buy our goods pre-made from the store. Those conveniences give us so much more free time to spend on other things. But, it is good to make the family's bread now and then. And a dress made by Mom will be something that a little girl treasures. These experiences help to shape a happy childhood and grow our children into able adults. I really think that they often find comfort in knowing that Mom and Dad can provide for them directly, not just through earning the money to buy, but though taking raw goods and turning them into something that the family needs or will enjoy. It is also in a way more satisfying to us. Perhaps it is because our marvelous Creator formed something from nothing. He didn't purchase the earth, but he formed it with his own hands, and it was good.

Doctrine divides?

2007-01-26T11:21:00.000-08:00

Before I had read or understood much of the Bible, I refused to claim a denomination. I would simply state that I just believed the Bible. How I could believe it when I hadn't even read much of it is quite a mystery to me now. Later in life, I attended my first real Bible study on the book of Romans. The truths taught in that particular book were so contrary to what I had always "believed" that they caused me to wonder why I had never heard them before in my church. So, I began researching various denominations to discover what each of them believed. It was during this quest that I first discovered church doctrine. And so my thoughts on doctrine are this:

It is necessary for a church to take a particular stance on how they interpret scripture.
It is necessary for a church to hold fast to that stance despite the potential pull of the culture to sway them.
It is good for a church to belong to a denomination that shares their beliefs to hold them accountable.
It is good for a Christian to join a church whose doctrine they agree with so that they can fully submit themselves to church leadership.

Believing that the Bible is true is very good. Knowing what the Bible says and believing that it is true is even better. Learning to interpret scripture rightly (in light of scripture) is wonderful. Leaning on the written works of both living and glorified saints to better understand the word is marvelous.

My Middle One

2007-01-23T13:18:00.000-08:00

Last week as we were walking to the car, my four year old suddenly began running. When we arrived at the car she proceeded to tell my oldest "Ha, ha, I beat you in the race." The oldest responded, "but you didn't tell me that we were racing." "Yeah, that's because I wanted to win!"

Poor baby, I'm sure that she'll out do her sister in something before too long. I couldn't help but laugh all the way home.

Believing God

2007-01-22T10:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, at church, I was thankful that our pastor mentioned Pro-life Sunday and prayed for the cease of abortion in our country. After reading Andrea's post on Pro-Life, as well as Barbara's I've been inspired to write more of my own thoughts on the topic.

It seems as though it all boils down to one question - do we really believe God?

When the Bible tells us "Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb a reward." Psalm 127:3

Do we really believe that? If so, how does it affect the way that we live? It has to be so much more than simply being anti-abortion, or even anti-contraception. Do we breathe a sigh of relief when they finally reach school age and someone else can deal with them all day? Or do we delight in hearing the pitter-patter of little feet coming down the hall? Do we count the days until their eighteenth birthday so that we can be done with it all? Or do we cherish them as we train them up to enter adulthood?

Sure, the days are long and hard. Sick children, stressed finances, and too many carseats to buckle can all make us say - "enough!" But, in saying that, are we really believing God? Do we trust that he is good and truthful?

I guess what I'm getting at is that our faith will cost us something. Whether it be giving up exotic vacations or sports cars, new clothes or even sleep! But, in the end, if we believe that God is good and his word is true. We can do nothing else but Trust and Obey.

Provision

2007-01-19T11:42:00.000-08:00

"so to keep me from becoming conceited because of the surpassing greatness of the revelations; a thorn was given me in my flesh, a messenger of Satan to harass me, to keep me from becoming conceited. Three times I pleaded with the Lord about this, that it should leave me. But he said to me "my grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." Therefore I will boast all the more gladly of my weaknesses , so that the power of Christ may rest upon me."
2 Corinthians 12:7-9

Yesterday, I was busy throwing myself a pity party over the state of my finances. Last year, we made the decision to add to and remodel our home which left us house rich and cash poor. I love our home. But, sometimes I covet. (don, don, don...) Yes, me - I covet. I long for new kitchen equipment and enough money to do my grocery shopping at Whole Foods. I want amazing vacations and sometimes even a maid. (imagine that?!) But, then the Holy Spirit led me to remember to:

"give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you."
1 Thess. 5:18

So, what do I have to give thanks for in this circumstance? Only about a gazillion things.

I am thankful for a husband who desires to provide a lovely home for his family.

I am thankful for the way that my cooking skills have developed since restaurants are pretty much out.

I am thankful for learning to make our bread.

I am thankful that I will, come Spring, have a garden. And I pray that it will bear beautiful fruit and vegetables.

I am thankful that I don't have the option to spoil my children with stuff.

I am thankful that a couple of days with my husband home feels like a luxurious vacation.

I am thankful for the satisfaction that comes from that perfect second hand 'find' to add to the beauty of our home.

I am thankful that the Lord constantly keeps me leaning upon his provision, rather than trusting in my own.

I am thankful for the increased lessons in stewardship.

"Remove far from me falsehood and lying; give me neither poverty nor riches; feed me with the food that is needful for me."
Proverbs 30:8

From Feminist to Feminine

2007-01-17T18:51:00.000-08:00

I've been inspired by Elise's story entitled 'Found' to tell a little of my story.

I was a young, American, Christian girl, full of dreams about my future. I was a planner, a goal-setter, and a dreamer. From my youngest days I remember contemplating what I would 'be' when I grew up, or where I would go to college. Somewhere way back in my little brain I believed that I would one day become a wife and a mother, but how I would get there or how that would intersect with my other goals was not at all a concern. I was smart, so they said. I could do anything. It sounded so blissful to map out my future. So, I often retreated to own little world where realizing my dreams was the key to my happiness.

At eighteen, I was accepted into a very good college, which I proceeded to attend. I spent the next year joining the world and all of it's darkness in my pursuit of happiness. The following summer, I was met with a suprise that did not fit into my plans or dreams at all.

I denied it.
I tried to run from it.
I was scared, sad and depressed.

Until, in agony, I turned my face back toward my glorious Creator who had never ceased loving me.

It was then that the Holy Spirit began to transform me. I knew it because:

I had joy in the midst of the sorrow of lost dreams.
I had love where before there was none.
I had peace in the midst of chaos.
I had faith that the Lord was my good Shepherd.

Two short months later, I was a bride. Seven years later, he still shares:
my bed,
my home,
my heart.

During the past seven years, the Lord has moved my heart slowly towards home. One by one, he has plucked my worldly dreams from my fingers and replaced them with blessings too numerous to contain in my hands. He is moving my heart to a place where my desires are his, and for that I am thankful.

There is great peace in knowing that He is sovereign, even when I am such a fool.

"Hallelujah, he has found me
the one my soul so long has craved.
Jesus satisfies all my longings,
by his blood, I now am saved"
-"He Rescued Me"

Ice and Dad

2007-01-16T13:17:00.000-08:00

After just complaining of never seeing Winter here, we have just received freeeeeezing weather! It has been complete with sleet and icicles. The kids have had a great time playing in the unusual weather while having Dad around to show them how :)

The weatherman even says that we might get to see one of the greatest wonders of God's creation tomorrow - snowflakes!

Seasons

2007-01-12T09:27:00.000-08:00

I love seasons. I often lament to my husband that the seasons where we live aren't distinct enough. We usually just get hot and warm here. But, right now it's fairly cool outide and most of the trees are naked, so I guess it's winter.

Anyways, I've been thinking lately about the seasons of life. I often hear talk of this time of raising young children to be a season, but it just recently struck me that there are many more analogies that we could pull from that. It seems to me that we truly do have about four seasons to a lifetime, just like our year.

Life begins in the Spring, when we, like the young plants are just uncurling. As we receive the proper nutrients from our environment and caretakers, we thrive and grow. We may even begin to blossom and bear fruit during this lovely time of rapid growth.

As we mature into adulthood, we also enter the summer of our lives. Life is hot and busy with the raising of children. The days are long and the nights are short. But, the world is green and bright and lovely. This is a wonderful time to experience God's goodness through his creation (our children).

As our children arrive at adulthood and begin to leave the home, we enter the coolness of Fall. This time is crisp and refreshing as we enjoy the fruit of our summer labor. The days are full, but somehow more relaxing and cozy, as we curl up with grandchildren before the fire to read to them and pass on to them the legacy of faith that was passed to us.

Finally, as our days begin to draw to a close, we enter winter. This seems to be a more solitary time. This will be the time when we can spend all day with the Lord in prayer if we like. This will be the time for lengthy meditation and storing up of the word in preparation for our new spring to come as we go to meet the Lord. This can be a lonely time for some, so as we are in our other seasons, let us not neglect those who are in their winter. Let us seek them out for wisdom and company.

As I walk through the hot days of my Summer, I try to remind myself often that these years of raising my children are only 1/4 of a long life on this earth. May I refuse to see them as a burden, but cherish each moment with them as I seek to offer them all of the care and nutrients they will need to be fruitful adults in their summer of life.

Baby Steps

2007-01-06T10:54:00.000-08:00

My baby has been standing on his own for several months now. He has even ventured to take a step or two. Finally, on Jan 1st, 2007 - he made up his mind to walk across the living room for us! The past week has been full of joy and awe as I watch my dear baby carefully make his way around on foot. I love a baby's first steps. It doesn't really matter which baby it is (although my own is a bit more special :). I know that these are only the first of many steps which my little man will take in his lifetime.

"Blessed are those whose way is blameless, who walk in the law of the Lord!"
Psalm 119:1

Sabbath Dinner, cont.

2007-01-04T09:19:00.000-08:00

In a previous post, I had mentioned a beautiful website for helping families to really celebrate the Sabbath. It all begins with a special meal on Saturday evening (the traditional start to the Sabbath). The meals and recipes on the website are quite overwhelming to someone like myself. But, I think that I've found a happy compromise. Since our weeknight meals are usually quite simple, I think that I'll make our Sabbath meal a step above those by preparing a whole chicken or roast which could serve as some nice sandwich meat for a pleasant Sunday afternoon lunch. I recently purchased this wonderful cookbook full of simple, seasonal food. In fact, the whole book is arranged by seasons. The recipes in it are definately a cut above ordinary fare in our home and so I think that I'll use it as our primary text for Sabbath cooking for now. The photographs in it are amazing, and the text and recipes are inspiring! If any of you know of an equally lovely cookbook that focuses on a different ethnic style, I'd love to hear about it!

Saturday morning

2006-12-30T10:59:00.000-08:00

We stayed up too late, as usual and I was tired. But, what a treat it is for my husband to still be home and two little girls to excitedly climb into our bed. My four year old's pretty little face was snuggled up close to mine. Her soft skin and blue eyes in the morning light made me just want to linger a little longer. Yes, snuggle time is very nice.

To health

2006-12-29T07:58:00.000-08:00

Yesterday, I had some precious time to myself that I spent mostly at half priced books. (everything is an additional 20% off right now!) I bought this new cookbook about raw foods. I don't think that a completely raw diet would ever quite suit myself or my family. But, the book offers some wonderful information and amazing recipies (although it looks like they all have about a gagillion ingredients!) I won't call it a New Year's Resolution, but I do want to start learning more about how to provide my family with more delicious, healthy food. I would like to teach my children to be good stewards of their health and to educate them about all of the wonderful benefits there are to eating food just the way God made it. We may even start a garden in the Spring.

The Box

2006-12-27T07:32:00.000-08:00

ruins lots of things, like conversation, games and music. Yes, I have one in my living room too. But, it sits in a closed cabinet and there is no cable hooked up - only a DVD player. How I long for a holiday of my dreams where live music joyfully greets us from the piano or fiddle or flute - hey I'm not too picky! And, where people are festively dressed and greet eachother with gladness. The wine pours freely. We eat, drink and are merry. The children run and dance and laugh. We enter God's goodness, because he is good. And, we keep the box OFF!

Cake

2006-12-23T11:53:00.000-08:00

Here's a quick and easy way to dress up any old boxed cake. Add some chocolate chips to the batter before baking it! I recently sampled this easy recipe at a friend's daughter's birthday party. I can't believe that I never thought of something so simple. I'm adding them to a yellow cake mix that is in the oven right now. Yummy.

Bread

2006-12-23T11:46:00.000-08:00

I've been baking most of our family's bread for about six months now. I actually really enjoy the process although it can be rather time consuming. I could do it much more quickly if only I had this amazing mixer. Wanna buy it for me? I'll bring you fresh baked bread every week...
Anyways, I still buy bread from the store once in a while. So far, the results have been decent. At least tasting much better than store bought bread. However, I began to wonder what would happen if I quit buying the cheap yeast, and spent a little more on the Fleischmann's. Well, I tried it, and WOW - much better bread!
The moral of this story is don't skimp on major ingredients, buy good quality products - it's worth it.

Glad tidings

2006-12-22T11:13:00.000-08:00

When I have a long, quite moment to reflect upon my salvation I am often moved to tears over the profound truth that I am a child of the King over all the Earth. It is so easy, in our culture to feel humbled by our ordinariness. Especially with all of the media images of astoundingly beautiful people that we are bombarded with on a daily basis. However, despite our circumstances, we are far from ordinary. As children of the Most High, our calling is that of a royal child, full of both privileges and demands which other children are exempt from. Our training is strict, and our eyes are focused, but through it all, there is a blessed sweetness in knowing that "he rescued me, because he delighted in me" (Ps. 18:19) As we ponder the miracle of the very son of God leaving his glorious throne room to enter this world in the most ordinary of ways, may we delight in knowing that we delight him.

It is with these thoughts that I am able to joyfully wish you a MERRY CHRISTMAS!

Expanding vocabulary

2006-12-20T14:15:00.000-08:00

My sweet little man who is nearing the end of his sixteenth month does not have nearly so vast a vocabulary as his sisters did at his age. However, he has shown a great interest in animals, saying 'woof' at every one he sees. Today, we stopped to visit the ducks because I noticed that there were new ducklings in the midst - their furry little bodies are too cute to pass by! My baby began 'woofing' immediately. I told him that ducks say "quack." And...he quacked!
I am so proud of my little man. He can speak when he wants to, he just needs proper motivation. Perhaps a trip to the zoo.

focusing

2006-12-19T19:46:00.000-08:00

Today, I waited until 3pm to go to the local supermarket. With my three children in tow (one in the seat, one in the basket, and one clinging onto the end of the cart) we manuevered the crowded isles. I hate going to the grocery store in the afternoon, I don't know why I ever do it. Somehow, I found it difficult to focus on exactly what I was purchasing. The regular items that I always buy were no trouble, it was the irregular ones that were tricky. I needed more shampoo and conditioner. I always scan the isles for the sale signs and buy whichever brand seems to be the best deal. Sometimes the bottle is familiar, and sometimes not. Today it wasn't. I got into my nice hot shower tonight and realized that I'd purchased two bottles of conditioner. Arrrr...

Whatta weekend

2006-12-18T18:57:00.000-08:00

Friday night was West's company Christmas dinner at Ruth's Chris - yummy.

Saturday was my birthday and my dear, sweet mother threw me a birthday luncheon with all of the ladies in our family and several of my friends. My Mom prepared a delicious lunch at elegantly set tables. It was very nice. I am so thankful to have so many wonderful people in my life, God has been very good.

Saturday evening was an Advent hymnsing at the home of some of our dear friends. Many people gathered to indulge in a lovely spread of sweets. The children helped themselves to bowl after bowl of popcorn and glass after glass of lemonade as they joyfully entertained themselves in the backyard. We also had a time together in the living room of scripture reading and hymn singing. The children all participated and everyone enjoyed it very much. This is such a sweet time of year to focus on God's goodness through the friends he has given us, and most of all through his gift of salvation through his Son.

Sunday, we attended church in the am. And, attended our church's Christmas party in the pm. It was a nice dinner at a local country club, they even hired a harpist to play which was quite lovely. We are so thankful to be a part of a vibrant church plant in our community, and for the many friendships that we are forming as a result.

So, despite the busy-ness, I did manage to enjoy myself quite a bit. Sorry for the previously grumpy post, I guess I was having a stressful day or something.

This really is such a sweet time of the year. May God be glorified with each day of it.

The Gospel in Waves

2006-12-15T11:26:00.000-08:00

World magazine has recently awarded their 'Daniel of the Year' to two Episcopalian priests in Africa who have held on to their biblical convictions and refused to go along with the liberal movements of the US Episcopalians. This and other articles in this edition focus on a trend that I have also begun to observe.

It seems as though the church in Europe, who was for so long at a glorious crest of faithfulness has crashed. We can also see the steadily diminishing peak of piety from which our own United States began. Meanwhile, the waves are rising to great heights in many African and Asian countries.

These new Christians oversees view the Bible as the inerrant word of God and this gives them great zeal and unity. It will be interesting to see over the coming years what the last names of the great theologians to come will be. In a time not too far off, Christians, instead of translating our materials into other languages may see greater need to translate material in other languages into our own.

May we hold steadfastly to the word as we rejoice for our brothers and sisters being brought to Christ all over the globe.

"The wind blows where it wishes, and you hear its sound, but you do not know where it comes from or where it goes. So it is with everyone who is born of the Spirit." John 3:8

My Fashionista

2006-12-14T17:11:00.000-08:00

This is my second born all dressed and ready to go. I just had to take a picture. In case you can't tell, her pants are backwards, her shirt is two small, she's wearing red and pink(!), and her hat is not all the way on. Many times, I have frustratedly (am I inventing words here?) re-dressed her before leaving the house. But, today I decided to just enjoy the 'simple glory' of it. Soon enough, she'll learn what matches and what fits. These sweet childhood years will be gone far too soon. So, as we get funny looks at the Y today, I'll just treasure the fact that my sweet one is still a child, a child who brings me laughter and joy each day.

Just wondering

2006-12-11T13:24:00.000-08:00

why all of a sudden so many people think that female nude photographs are okay if the woman is pregnant. I have observed even Christians are falling into this trend of erotic, pregnant photography. I certainly think that pregnancy is a beautiful time to be cherished, and it is appropriate that this time be documented through photography. But, for goodness sake - keep your clothes on!

Happy Birthday West!

2006-12-09T20:20:00.000-08:00

My dear husband turned 28 last Thursday. We celebrated with a dinner at our home complete with a foil crown for the birthday boy and lots of peanut butter/ hershey's kiss cookies. (the birthday boy's favorite)
Only two more years...

The Sabbath

2006-12-06T20:12:00.000-08:00

My husband and I have recently been faced with a number of articles about celebrating the Sabbath and truly honoring the fourth commandment. While we do honor many holidays in our home, the Sabbath is the main holiday that the Lord set in place in scripture. It is a day to rest and enjoy him, to really enter into his goodness. Well, here's a beautiful new website to help us all instill the traditions of celebrating the Sabbath in our homes.

The menus and information on the site can be a bit overwhelming at first. I think that it will take time, maybe even generations before we get into a rhythym of true celebration weekly. I also think that celebrating can vary a bit from family to family. But, it certainly sounds nice, and I appreciate the work and suggestions that have gone into the website. I think that we'll make it our goal to make this happen once a month, and go from there. I'd love to hear about any special ways you and your family celebrate the Sabbath.

The busy season

2006-12-05T11:49:00.000-08:00

It seems like this time of year, even more than others everyone wants their little piece of you. An ornament exchange here, a white elephant there, gift exchanges, cookie exchanges, you know - the list could go on and on. And, I'm not very excited about them! I just want to focus on Christ, not get bogged down with purchasing, wrapping, dressing, and getting babysitting. But, I'll go. After all, who wants to be seen as the party-pooping Scrooge?
Through all of the buzzing of busy little elves (do elves buzz?) I am realizing that I'm just not made for organized events. I much prefer more personal encounters like inviting the neighbors over for tacos or having friends join us for our advent devotions followed by a homemade pie and some good conversation.
As the recipient, I've always felt much more loved and ministered to as the special guest in someone's home. It's pretty rare that a big event can produce the same sense of love and comforting. Maybe, if everyone would just take the time that they would have spent on calling the caterors and lining up the speakers and spend it on loving their neighbors we would all feel a little more loved.
I sound so pessimistic, and I don't mean it that way. This is a season to celebrate, and we certainly have reason for great rejoicing. But, in the midst of that rejoicing, let us leave time to share with the hungry family down the street not just food for their bodies, but for their souls as well.

who's got the goodest grammar?

2006-12-04T18:12:00.000-08:00

I can't brag of 100%, but I did respectably. I suppose that I should know this stuff if I am to teach it to my children.
Your Language Arts Grade: 98%

Way to go! You know not to trust the MS Grammar Check and you know "no" from "know." Now, go forth and spread the good word (or at least, the proper use of apostrophes).

Are You Gooder at Grammar?

How did you do?

Christmas Decorating

2006-12-02T07:32:00.000-08:00

Here is the box of Christmas decorations that has been sitting in my living room for about a week now:

And, this morning I found the girls cheerfully working on a 'project' at the Dining room table where they proudly showed me some of their morning's work:

If you can't tell from the picture, it's a mound of garland with lights on it that the girls have used to begin hanging ornaments on.
I think that the poor little ones are ready for a tree.

Habit

2006-12-01T05:29:00.000-08:00

Recently I've been convicted that I'm not doing a very good job in training my children in the habit of neatness. It suddenly occurred to me that whenever I pick up their clothes off of the floor that belong in the hamper or neatly stored away - I am actually contributing to their habit of sloppiness!
So, Mom's cracking down around here. Toothbrushes go back in the drawer, clothes get put where they belong, beds get made properly and so on. The challenging thing is that whatever I enforce, I must also submit to. This means keeping my things neat and setting a good example by doing it cheerfully.
I intend to be patient. My goal is that sometime in the next year these new habits will be formed and I will not have to remind so often. But, that means that I have to remind myself to remind them for quite awhile. By the time that the girls have it down, it will be time to start training Simon.
It is important to focus on the fact that we can glorify God by being good stewards of all that he's given to us, even toothbrushes.

Schools

2006-11-30T18:53:00.000-08:00

Today a friend of mine came over to discuss the possibility of starting a University Model School
in our area. I have always felt that it was crazy for a five year old to be in a classroom twice as long as most college students each day. This is one reason why I homeschool. So, naturally a UMS sounds like the best of both worlds. My children would have the opportunity to learn from another teacher and participate in a classroom while still getting plenty of time in a normal setting at home with parents who love them.
Well, although it does sound like the best of both worlds, I can't help but feel that God has called me to the homeschooling world. As scary as it may be at times to imagine how I will manage it for years down the road, it is rather invigorating to walk along the edge with the Lord. And to allow him to direct my feet along a path that I cannot fully see, but I trust that he is good.

My first Post

2006-11-30T14:07:00.000-08:00

As a mother of three young children there are often thoughts and ideas running through my head which are too complex for a six-year-old and which rather bore my husband. Hopefully, some of you out there will be interested, inspired or amused as I seek glory in the mundane life of a housewife. For, I believe that obedience to the Lord's calling in my life is where glory lies.